Hey everyone, I’ve been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half now and I love her very much. However, lately we’ve been having some communication issues that are really impacting our relationship. My girlfriend is very sensitive about how I phrase things and if I don’t say them the right way, she gets mad and says I don’t care about her as much as she cares about me.
For example, yesterday she had a rough day and since I was at work all day (we only see each other on weekends because we live far apart), I wasn’t able to give her the attention she needed. I wrote to her saying I’d answer her after work and told her to stay strong and that I loved her. But she got hurt by my response and now she’s reconsidering our relationship. She says I don’t show her enough love and attention and that I’m not affectionate enough.
During fights, she focuses only on her feelings and ignores everything else. She tells me how she feels, which I appreciate, but then decides from those feelings what my feelings must be. She puts words in my mouth that I never said or meant and makes comments about how I should be with someone else if I can’t communicate properly with her.
Last night she expected me to come see her in the middle of the night, even though we both have to work early the next day. It’s really taking a toll on me because I feel like I have to walk on eggshells all the time and I don’t feel safe or secure in the relationship.
In the day-to-day, we love each other like crazy, but I just don’t want to feel like this all the time. I need some advice on how to handle these communication issues and improve our relationship.
tl;dr: My girlfriend gets upset with me for not phrasing things correctly and it’s causing communication issues in our relationship. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells and don’t feel safe in the relationship. Need advice on how to handle these issues.