I wanna use a vibrator on her during sex, but I am worried she will get too used to it, become somewhat desensitized, and regular sex will become less pleasurable, so vibrator sex will have to become the norm. I dont necessarily wanna use a vibe on her every time we do it. What do you guys think?
Edit: whats with the downvotes, reddit? It was a simple question. Y’all are weird.
30 comments
You and the vibrator are on the same team, bro. Don’t think of her using it as competition between the toy and your dick. She’s feeling good, you should be enjoying her pleasure with her
Ultimately it’s up to her, it’s her body. Worth bringing it up with her though
A vibrator is not your competitor or enemy. A vibrator is your assistant and best friend. One of the nicest things you can do for yourself and for her is doggy style, she’s using the vibe on her clit, while you go at her pussy. She cums super hard, and you feel the vibrations while you’re inside her too! Good luck, have fun!
Go right ahead! I’ve been using vibrators for 20+ years and there’s nothing dangerous about it, it adds to the fun!
No. Go ahead and enjoy it. Both partners will enjoy it.
my partner uses her vibrator every single time we have sex. I have no issues with it.
My ex only used a vibrator on me once but the way he went about asking if it was something I wanted, and the fact it was my vibrator that I’d used to pleasure myself before ever meeting him, made it a huge turn on.
Google 3D clitoris. Learn just how little of the organ is visible or where you think it is. Then Google blended orgasm. Then Google vibrators for couples and see if you can expand your imagination about vibrators.
Then, ask her if she wants you to use any sort of vibrator on her during sex. (I say that because it’s not clear in your ask. I’m clear what you want, but not what she wants.)
Many, many, many women need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm during penetration.
I think you’re needlessly afraid.
We use them all the time
A vibrator is your friend, not your competition.
sometimes I am so tired of using the vibrator especially since I cum so much faster. have you tried playing with her clit during sex? You can alternate between you and the vibrator!
My husband used to be worried about things like that and def viewed it more competition but we have come a long way in 10 years. We now have an assortment for him and me and its all about the fun of it…its also not everytime. If we have time for the whole shebang (as I call it) I don’t really go to them as much but if its a quicky that vibe helps get where you need to be in a more timely fashion hahaha
I use it solo and during sex. It does have an affect on future sex and pleasure.
Women’s point of view here. The point is her having an orgasm. How she has it DOES NOT MATTER!!!!!!!
I can see the PSA now “Did you know that every day, on average, 100 women in the US succumb to vibrator desensitization syndrome, better known as VDS. VDS affects the lives of men all across the world whose wives will no longer fuck them. Don’t fall victim to VDS. Talk to your female partner about the very real danger of vibrators. It just may make a difference”-Sponsored by the Coalition to get gUys fuCKED
Imo, the reason they sell different styles and models of vibrators is bc they all feel different and do different things. Idk about guy O’s, but I personally have different types depending on how they are achieved. Does that make sense? Example: The ones I get by giving oral (no external stimulation) vs the one I get from toys (direct clitoral stimulation)
are not the same as PIV.
But Yes, I think one can desensitize with too much clitoral stimulation. I’d say that it would be unusual to loose the sensation of PIV sensitivity unless she was externally stimulating herself several times a day. If that’s not the case, and y’all aren’t hitting the sheets that frequently each day, I’d think you would be safe.
Lol. No. She deserves pleasure too.
As someone who recently started using a vibrator during sex, it made it feel ten times better but in a totally different way from how good my bf’s dick feels. It enhances the experience but it’s not the same!
This question gets raised a lot with sex researchers, and there’s absolutely no evidence that vibrators cause desensitization. If you to want to use the toy and enjoy using it? Then go right ahead and use it.
Use them. We have in our marriage for a long time. I’m still orgasming with or without. Enjoy.
Too much use can lead to desensitization, but every once in a while it’s fantastic!
That toy will be your new best friend. I love experiencing different toys with my partner. Have fun
The desensitization myth is very common. But it’s false. Vibrators only make everyone’s life easier.
Try not to use it every time so she doesn’t rely on it! Your concern for her pleasure is so nice 🙂
Sorry but that’s just silly. Absolutely no, she won’t become desensitized. Let her get off how she’s comfortable and don’t make her feel bad about it.
My gf has one shaped like a tooth that stimulates either side, so decreased desensitization from usage. I regularly suggest its use at a certain point if she hasn’t yet come. Even more fun is to hang out down below while she uses it and provide support with fingers and tongue. But vibe + PÍV (particularly taking her from behind) pretty solid, too.
If u r gonna use it somtimes… Thn u will have more pleasurable sex somtimes.
Its an add on!!
A vibrate doesn’t ruin sex, but your body becomes desensitized to repetitive stuff. The best vibrator loses it efficacy when you use it regularly. The key is to just keep things varied. But some people fall outside this norm and do depend on a certain type of stimulation to finish and there’s nothing wrong with that either.
if she feels vibrator is good，why not?Let she hold and use it herself, and you do your job
I use a vibrator for masturbating. If I do use it like 3 days in a row. I absolutely do have a harder time finishing with regular sex.
“Dangerous” is a really extreme word to use.
Every person is going to be different as far as their tolerance to becoming “dependent” on something. That could be a vibrator or soda or potato chips or exercise or shopping or anything.
Personally, my wife and I use toys quite regularly. She has never become “dependent” on any of her toys.
I watch porn and masturbate quite frequently. I have never become “dependent” on porn or developed “death grip” syndrome.
This is some internet myth that has snowballed into something that simply is not try for most people. I will hold off any assumptions or judgements on why you personally are hesitant to want this to happen.
The short answer to your concern is, 99% more than likely, no. Your partner is not going to become dependent on a toy or find sex less desirable without the toy or anything like that. Toys are tools. Toys are your teammates. And, just like tools and teammates, you should learn how to use them and take advantage of them appropriately.
EDIT: The mindset of “I don’t want to use a vibe on her” is the wrong mindset. You both participate equally in all thing sexual. No matter who is holding the vibe. You are both using it. And, you both should have equal weight when deciding what happens during sex.