Me (F19) and my boyfriend (M19) have been together for five months. We started having sex a month into the relationship, and when we started we talked about it a lot. He asked what I liked and what I was into so I got the best experience. We wanted to have sex all the time. It was always good.
In the past few weeks or so the sex has been really short, around ten minutes, which is fine sometimes, we are college students, it’s mostly in the middle of the day, but even when we get to sleep together at night it’s quick sex and then we fall asleep. When we had sex in the beginning we both gave oral before and there was so much foreplay. I loved it. Now I think we have fallen into a routine already. I have tried to tease him through the day and get him excited for a “special night” and I will wear something sexy for him, and then when we get in bed he will say “ya know what babe I had a really long day at work is it ok if we get to bed soon?” then quick sex and we go to bed.
I know sex lives are supposed to have a lull, but this early? I don’t even know how to go back. He has been working a lot which could be a part. He declines a blowjob about 70% of the time, which he never used to do, he used to always want to be touching me or want to be touched.
I love him so much, but if we just can’t stay in tune what does this mean for staying together long term ya know?
Then I can’t help but think is it me? Did I change? Do I not turn him on anymore? Has this happened to anyone else and how do I pull us out of it?
3 comments
I think a really helpful thing is to sit down and have a proper conversation about it. Talk about all the issues and where he’s at and what’s up.
In terms of tiredness from work and stress those can be short term things which make people less sexual for a while. However if they’re becoming larger issues then it’s important to work together on them, about how to create a relaxed and energised space where it is possible to really have fun.
Great sex only happens when people deeply and openly communicate.
It’s always like that in the beginning, it’s up to you guys to mix it up from here on out and talk to each other about what you like, what you might wanna try, etc.
His feelings for you and attractiveness to you has not changed. This is just typical in a relationship. Super strong at first, fucking all the time like it may be the last. All exciting and extra horny, but then it slows. This doesn’t mean it’s just going down hill from here, just leveling off some. Sex in a relationship has so many levels and constantly changes. If you love him just keep it alive and be open with him about what you want and need, and it’ll all be good😈✌❤