(23m)I’ve been trying to find a certain boundary that i can put up to not conflate if what i feel for a person is a friendship or a desire to be with them. I’ve got friends who i think of sexually at times then i feel so disgusted at myself for even thinking that in the first place. I’ve never expressed any of that infront of them cause i don’t want to lose my friendship. I cherish them too much
On the other hand, relationships have always been tricky. I study abroad and don’t have the privilege of getting into a commitment. And yet, i feel like shit when i see my peers having a partner. I know it’s a transient emotional response, but then again, it seems like all i end up with are friends and nothing serious. If anyone asks me about my dates all i can say is that I’m much more focused on my career rn.
Could yall share your insights on your relationships or similar situations?
2 comments
Hey I hope I got you right. Firstly dont worry if you feel sexual attracted to friends, I find some of my friends attractive aswell. Theres nothing wrong with that. Point is I wouldnt want to have a romantic realtionship with them, which makes the difference between romantic interest and friendship for me.
The next point you mention, is always ending up as friends even when having romantic interest right? Problem here is, if you dont give signs that you are interested in more than beeing friends you will stay friends. For example if you are meeting for a coffee just the two of you make sure to mention it beeing a date, (outside of Online dating ofc) then you give them the chance to react to it. Otherwise they will assume youre just beeing friendly/ a Friend.
Two of my closest friends got toghether just half a year ago. They have been friends for over 5 years always in the same friend circle. No one ever made a move on each other, no flirting or touching just friends. Suddenly in a night out the stars allignet with both of them beeing single at the same time and they danced toghether and she blurted out that she finds him attractive (alcohol played a huge role here). He hit her up in the next days and they slowly explored the idea of going out had some dates and talks and are now a very happy couple.
There’s no difference between friendship and love, since there’s infinite ways of lovin’ and relationships. Same with physical attraction, we can feel attracted to several people and it’s fine, it’s just being human.
You say you don’t do dates because you are focused in your career, with that mindset who would dare to think of you as a potential partner if you implied you are not interested?