Im 22, I just started working at an engineering firm six months ago after graduating from college in the US. I genuinely would say I have a good active social life, I have a handful of really close friends who I feel comfortable around, and I enjoy meeting new people. I struggle with approaching and initiating conversation with strangers but I find that when I have a good avenue to do it like a dat* or a group event like a run club or pregame I really enjoy it and can carry a great conversation and make people laugh. In general I pride myself on my positivity and humor and ability to make people smile and feel cared about. But god I cannot for the life of me connect with a single one of my coworkers. A lot of them are older, but even the younger ones don’t want anything to do with me and I feel really awkward. It’s kind of a business first atmosphere which is fine, but I still hear the people around me chatting about sports which is something I love to talk about, but no one seems to have any interest in discussing those types of things with me. I’ll try to strike up something sometime with a “how was your weekend” to see if I can learn a hobby of theirs, but the answer is usually “good I spent time with my family it was great. Do xyz and email when you’re done”. My group doesn’t do many lunches or anything like that. I had a really good time at our holiday happy hour, conversations were flowing and people were friendly but no one’s seemed like they want to talk since. I don’t feel like myself at work because of this and I want to quit. Any advice?

1 comment
  1. Sometimes it’s them. But for arguments sake here are some “proven ways” : [link](https://www.careeraddict.com/work-friends) Also food- make something/ bring something – I’m from Louisiana and I always order a seasonal King Cake for my California colleagues and they really appreciate it since it’s novel, represents me, and one persons gets a little plastic baby- somehow a “prize” is exciting as well. I also bring my dogs with me and they are a crowd pleaser for everyone, but not all work places allow this perk. But please remember: not all work places are a good environments to make friends.. just in case you need to know: [toxic workplace](https://www.forbes.com/sites/allbusiness/2022/11/21/8-warning-signs-that-your-workplace-is-becoming-toxic/?sh=109968f346be) .. I mention this because it could be they are unhappy/ burnt out and don’t have the bandwidth for more friends at work. Good luck and hope all works out.

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