So, I’m a 22 year old guy. I have a feminine voice so I fully understand the confusion. My voice is naturally higher pitched and my “customer service voice” brings it up a bit higher too.
I don’t get offended whatsoever by the mistake, but most of the time these are people I meet with in the following days and it’s just so awkward. I don’t feel comfortable correction them but meeting them the next day is kind of embarrassing.
I’m not really sure how to fix this? I have a stereotypical guys name but people will hear it and thank me using a similar sounding girls name because they assume that’s what I said.
What do I dooooo
18 comments
Take some testosterone
Well you have options:
1) deal with it
2) change your voice/customer service voice
3) correct them by using a standard phrase you learn by heart
4) try saying your name much more slowly and not as the first thing when you enter the call (usually when you are calling you have to have some seconds to get used to who is on the other line)
Pick up smoking as a habit, Mongolian throat singing and hit the gym.
Capitalize on the situation by doing some dirty talk service, use money to pay for Laryngologist consultations/surgery (if required).
If you say you’re gay it cuts down the confusion a bit
Immediately correct them. Not in a hostile way, but something like “I’m a man”. Will cut the embarrassment cord real quick and you won’t have to worry later on.
Is your name Ty?
Tie lead to your balls, help them drop.
If you don’t already, pick up some masculine workplace speech patterns? Here’s some I’ve noticed:
– downward intonation, even with questions
– very curt way of speaking. Don’t drag words out
– more confident and authoritative in general, I know you’re in customer service but you don’t have to be humble as long as you’re respectful.
– casual “bro” talk if you’re not in too much of a professional environment. “Hey thanks for calling I’m ___, how can I help you”
now I need to hear this voice. Post an audio clip?
Just don’t be awkward about it. Correct them as soon as you hear the “ma’am” and tell them not to worry as it sometimes happens because some voices are ambiguous and on the phone you obviously can’t see the other person, and no biggie. As long as they know that you aren’t angry at them for it, there won’t be awkwardness.
The awkwardness comes from the worry of the other person that they accidentally insulted you, because some men feel very insulted by being seen as female. (Which, by the way, is sexist against women) If you imply that’s not the case, there’s no worry, really.
It was the same with me till mid 20s.
I had some head and neck injuries back in 2001. The anatomical structures in my neck that create voice have more tension and I have been told I have a feminine voice. It bugged me a bit. Some things I found-
I start every phone call by introducing myself by name….not sure if that would help if you are “Pat” or “Terry” or something.
Consciously relax your throat when you talk. Practice talking to yourself in the mirror or record yourself talking on the phone as part of practice.
I have noticed that people can get defensive or embarrassed after misgendering. This is much more of a thing now than it was for me when it first started. Extend grace and understanding. Let them know it happens.
Look at some of the apps in the App Store. There are some good ones where you can set voice training goals and track progress.
Good luck!
I like men with soft voices.
I can’t be the only one, that’s not probable.
Just correct them. It isn’t that big a deal as long as you aren’t a dick about it.
Next time you’re on the phone and someone says Ma’am just say “It’s sir, actually” and laugh it off. It avoids any confusion when they see you and you’re a dude and most people will probably just apologize and laugh it off as well.
“It’s sir, not ma’am , but I get that all the time” – say it while smiling.
Just correct them politely. The whole issue seems to be stemming from the fact that you don’t tell them and then they meet you, right? So tell them. You can even be super dismissive about it “I’m actually a man, but don’t worry I get it all the time on the phone”. They will like give their apology “Oh, I’m sorry!” and then you can move on. It’s such a minor exchange that fixes a more pressing problem. Why not?
There’s nothing wrong with being a woman, so you aren’t offended at the insinuation. They just made a minor identification mistake. Like mishearing “Aaron” for “Eric” and then having to say “Oh, it’s AaroN, actually, with an N” “Oh, I’m sorry!” “No worries, definitely not the first time I’ve heard it! Anyway, about your long distance plan, are you happy with it?”
You could embrace it. Change your clothes. Get some estrogen.