I (19F) am with a super nice dude (18M) we click very well and he is very considerate which I absolutely adore.
Unfortunately though, the sex is lacklustre. It’s not bad sex, it’s really good sex and I manage to cum a few times, it’s just that it RARELY ever happens.
It’s starting to really affect me because sex is something I really enjoy doing with him and I feel like I’m missing out. It just makes me feel so sad.
I know he’s allowed to say no, just like anybody else is. But I thought he’d do it with me more often because we’re not even old, we’re teenagers. This lack of sex is really starting to make me frustrated. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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Talk to him.
Find out why and if it’s something he wants to change.
If it isn’t something he wants to change then you simply have to choose whether this is really what you want..
Have you a place that’s comfortable for both of you?
Jump on him
I feel you. In my last relationship I recall multiple occasions where I’d be ready to go and he wouldn’t be into it at all, saying he just wasn’t that sexual of a person.
But to be completely honest, I’m pretty sure he subtly hinted at some taboo kinks.
I have my suspicions to believe the reason he didn’t wanna have sex is because he wasn’t comfortable opening up about what he really wanted.
Maybe bring up the idea of trying new things. Ask him what’s something he’s always wanted to do? Tell him you won’t judge him at all.
Maybe it’ll spark something new?
It sounds like you two may not be sexually compatible. This is a pretty big discrepancy and can be hard to bridge. Definitely talk to him about and look into anything that might be affecting his libido. But both of your libidos are just naturally that far off, and monogamy is what you want, you’ll just need ti admit that it’s not a match.
i would kill for 5x a month
Honestly 5x a month sounds like about the sweet spot for me. Maybe 6 or 7 but that’s splitting hairs. I would bet that 5x per month is probably pretty close to an average for most people. Once a weekend, occasionally twice.
That’s not to say that you are wrong for wanting more, I just think your BF sounds pretty average in that department.
My advice is as follows:
* you need to clearly communicate the issue to your boyfriend
* you need to employ a **minimum requirement-based ultimatum** that you’ll have to see through unless you want to continue stewing in your frustration
* inform him about it before enforcing it
It’s not that complicated 🤔
Pragmatically, you kind of have to accept the person before you for who they are. This will likely fluctuate, but it’s probably something to expect.
If you want to work it out, I would recommend asking if he is comfortable doing things to you in addition to the sex. Could be fun for him to use toys on you. The personal attention can help feeling satiated. Also, discuss and get better at masturbating. It’s possible this will jumpstart his sex drive, but the goal really is for you to both get what you need without changing who you are on a fundamental level.
In all honesty, 5 times a month is half decent so if you have a considerate person who is willing to work you I think it’s worth it.