Title is worded weird because my last post was removed. I don’t know what kind of trigger words I’m hitting with the auto-mod.
But I don’t wanna accidentally hit on this dude for reasons and I’m new to the whole friendship thing. So when can I ask to text someone? We talk at work when we work together and get along decently well. But I’m worried he’ll think I’m hitting on him. Idk. Trying to put myself out there and make friends after socially isolating myself for a long time.
16 comments
Generally it’s acceptable to ask if there is something that would be made easier by having it. For example if you made plans to do something after work.
You can give them your phone number at any time.
You can also bring it up proactively that you are not looking for a date and are just looking for a friend to hang out with.
Why do you want his number?
when you make plans for outside of work (that isn’t immediately after work). e.g. “do you want to see this movie at this place thursday at 8?” “sure” “okay i’ll text you the details, what’s your number”
Maybe you could relate it to your work? Say something like, “I’m a little confused with scheduling. Could I get your number in case I’m confused about the work schedule?” or “Can I have your number to text you for advice on how to _______ if I need to?” Just ask for it with a work related comment since you work together.
I don’t ask unless I need it or if we want to hang out again.
I feel like what I’m getting from these responses is that it’s weird to ask for his number if I don’t have a reason? Is casual texting not a thing like I imagine it is?
Get to know him a little better and there will be less of a need to invent a reason to ask for his number. The better you know him, the more likely it is to come up naturally in conversation.
Sometimes that’s the first thing that happens when I’m meeting new people. Or we’d change FB names
I would just ask him for his number
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1. Tell him you wanna send him a meme and ask for his number
2. ???
3. profit
The beginning? If you intend on being friends maybe after texting each other for a bit and then whenever you feel it’s right and if the person wants to give you their number
This is a legit concern, I totally agree with everything you are thinking. Tbh, it is so difficult not to look like you’re hitting on him, and it is so difficult to have platonic friends of the opposite sex that I wouldn’t risk it at all. I would wait for him to ask for your number, and make your body language obvious that you’re just friends after that consistently. Or you could wait for an opportunity where you think you’ll need him in the future about work, and ask for his number using that excuse. Sadly, only girls who hope a more than friends connection can be made will actively text boys. So even after you guys start texting, I wouldn’t go overboard with it. Boys/men catch feels so easily with any bit of female attention. It’s nothing to be ashamed of [for them], but it is a legit concern if you really are only trying to be close friends.
Yo bro, what’s your number so I can hit you up later on. Case closed.
You could wait until you’re with a bunch of other work friends and just get multiple people’s number at the same time
It’s pretty easy to get a number out of a person if that person also likes talking and being around you. So simply straight up ask him for it.
Be aware tho that obviously friendships with the other sex aren’t the same as with the same sex as this guy or you could develop feelings or get the wrong idea about the friendship thing. Gotta communicate that part clearly whenever you get the feeling that he’s crossing a line for you.