So my girlfriend and I have had conversations in the past about going clubbing without each other and she has clearly stated that it makes her extremely uncomfortable and she doesn’t prefer I do it. We both trust each other, it’s just that when there’s alcohol involved and people constantly hitting on your partner, it wouldn’t be very comfortable for anyone. We’ve been clubbing together in the past and all has been good but now my mate wants to have his party at a club and he’s stated that he just wants it to be a boys night out thing without any of our girlfriends coming. I’m all in for it but just don’t know how to approach my girlfriend about this and don’t want to let my mate down..
3 comments
Just because she doesn’t like it doesn’t mean you can’t go every once in a while. Especially since it’s a special occasion. If there is trust, then there really shouldn’t be an issue with you going. She has no right to dictate what you can and cannot do.
So if you want to go, then go.
She doesn’t trust you or she’s anxious/insecure.
Talk to her, ask her specifically what she’s uncomfortable with and discuss boundaries and what’s acceptable or not. For example, if a female approaches you, that is out of your control. However, you don’t have to engage with the female – you can say “not interested” and ignore her (sorry lady!).
You’re there to have fun with your friend. Yes, the scenery might be nice but so what – that’s going to be anywhere you go. Doesn’t mean you’re going to act on it.
I could never be in a relationship where I had to run things by my partner.
If your partner trusts you, then she trusts you. You should be able to tell her “I am going to xyz” without consequence. And you should be able to do the same in return (if its within reason).
Going out with the friends on occasion is within reason IMO.