tips for making friends?

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1. Two main things: 1. always have something to say, 2. don’t stop reaching out.

   The first is achieved by always staying active, both mentally (by reading and engaging in hobbies, trying new things..) and physically (exploring your city, travelling..). People often say you need to ask people about themselves but the reality is that often, people don’t give you much to work with. They’ll give short, blunt answers. They won’t ask you questions in return. Sometimes this is due to them being out of practice, or going through stress, depression, social anxiety, fatigue, chronic pain, and so on. Never drain yourself by overextending yourself in an effort to be friendly.

   The second means to make eye contact & smile wherever you can. Obviously there’re tons of times in life when people just want to be on their way and not be bothered. But unless you’re getting body language clearly saying “don’t talk to me”, you might at least be able to get a smile out of someone. If you keep seeing that person, you might get some small talk. Making friends as an adult requires patience. For example, my mother has exercised at the same place for years, off and on. Sometimes many months after first crossing paths with someone, that person will end up becoming a friendly acquaintance. It can even take years for both parties to warm up and feel comfortable enough to take a ‘gym friendship’ into each other’s personal lives. That’s why if you keep being friendly to people wherever you go, you have a better chance of having a fuller life in a few years.

   If you want something more immediate, you’ll need to go to clubs and classes, or try volunteering.