Hi! So I am a sex favorable asexual, very sexual person and I desire a high frequency of sex, but I don’t necessarily get aroused during it. Sometimes I do, either for the whole time or moments in particular positions and circumstances, but it’s unpredictable/unreliable, and I often don’t and am just happy to arouse or get off my partner. It makes me feel very good and satisfied to give my partner an orgasm as well, love to do it. I do however get aroused from oral sex when I am on the receiving end pretty much every time as I can fantasize about my partner in the way I please and feel good that they are the one getting me off without distraction from external stimulation (ie if they were rubbing my thigh the whole time for ex I would not be able to get off because I could not concentrate). It is so much more deeply satisfying with bigger orgasms than my solo play as I am connecting with my partner and it just feels better haha. I still consider sex a large need and get a deep emotional connection from it and get great gratification from getting my partners off and from them getting me off as well.
How would you as an allosexual feel dating someone like me under these circumstances? I get insecure about my lack of arousal and worry it would make my partners insecure/me less desirable so just wondering honest thoughts. Thanks!
3 comments
I’ll admit that I enjoy knowing my partner is aroused during sex, as long as you’re willing to have sex I’m good. I’m a big fan of oral sex as well so knowing you can get aroused to orgasm through oral would be fine.
I once dated a girl with vaginismus, however it’s spelt, but pic sex with her was uncomfortable to the point of pain for her, but I was happy to go down on her as pretty much our only sex life, I don’t like my partner suffering when it’s not wanted, as part of a bdsm scene for example.
I think if you’re physically affectionate and show a desire to be sexual and you can orgasm from oral then I’d be quite happy, nothing there would put me off.
Hope that helps, best of luck with it all
Sounds pretty good to me.
I guess I have nothing else to say other than don’t worry about it and just communicate your feelings.
I mean, the actual dealbreaker is that you’d never find me attractive. I have enough body insecurity issues that I really don’t want to commit to a person who doesn’t even find me physically appealing, sorry.