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Are we talking about love bombing? Or just generally making it known to your partner and reminding them regularly that you love and respect them? There is a hefty difference, as one is borderline manipulative and overwhelming while the other is healthy and necessary for a long term relationship.
No ones relationship is black and white. There are no rules like this. If the person isn’t as invested you and is an avoidant person, than any level of affection will likely cause them to distance themselves.
If both people have a secure attachment style, then this won’t be the case.
Love and affection is too generalized in this case, if it borders on needy, anxious, controlling etc. then that is unhealthy.
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As with most simple blanket statements, this is all subjective and can be seen in an extreme.
Some people will thrive, others will run.
Some will over-do it, others will have a healthy sense of when it’s appropriate.
If both of you do it, it’s fine. If one gives wayyy more than the other it’s bad. Balance is important.
Cut it out
You appear needy, pushing your partner to reciprocate. Moreover your value is depreciated due to compliment inflation. The law of supply and demand, as economists say
42 M. This has never made sense to me. I give A LOT of things to a woman I’m dating. Like she says she likes something, and a day or two later it shows up at her house by way of Amazon. I have no idea why anyone would turn away this sort of thing based squarely on that. If the person’s abusive or whatever, that might be a different story. But the people who really push the narrative of not showering your SO with love and affection are simply people who aren’t willing to do it. And they’re trying to level the playing field given that they’re at a disadvantage.
Not necessarily. If you know things aren’t working out and you try to fix things by giving affection then yes things will crumble. There are also some people out there who see kindness as weakness, and will continue to take. But in general no, I don’t think that being a very affectionate person in general will drive people away long term.
“Showering your partner with love and affection will eventually cause them to leave you…”
Not necessarily, showering *the wrong person* will eventually cause them to leave you.
According to author Gary Chapman there are “5 Love Languages”.
These are: *words of affirmation*, *quality time*, *physical touch*, *acts of service*, and *receiving gifts*.
Knowing *your partner’s love language* and letting them know yours is a way to help you both feel loved and appreciated. Having said that, if someone *isn’t really into you* it doesn’t matter.
The term “love bombing” is when you really don’t know someone and you’re already showering them with platitudes or professing your love and smothering them with attention.
Coming on too strong and too quickly can make you seem awkward, desperate, or *creepy*.
Most people aren’t looking to be placed on a *pedestal*. They want someone who treats them normal. After all, their own best friends and family don’t act that way around them.
A few compliments from time to time are fine but don’t get carried away with it.
You may want to take some ques from observing how they interact with and treat you.
Best wishes!
What proof do you have that this is happening?
Showing love and affection is pretty important in a relationship….
If the same sorta affection is being returned then no- it shouldn’t be an issue. But too much of anything is too much, so make sure you aren’t unintentionally sabotaging by overwhelming them with too much too soon.
If you are anxious then that is something you need to work out- whether through therapy, coaching, or self help. It’s no fun always doubting yourself, but working with someone to establish your boundaries as well as your partner’s boundaries and preferences can also help. Communicating will be key to this.
Example: discussing who likes to be texted first rather than guessing and waiting. Some girls will like when you text first while others may want the ping pong of picking up whoever left the conversation off last. But being able to communicate and ask various stuff like this and being honest can help cut out the games and establish a healthy line of trust and needs being met
In my experience yes. It’s a shitty pill but on my experience being nice and loving turns women off. They would rather be treated kinda bad and *wish* for good treatment.
Not if it’s the right person and the intentions are good.
I don’t know if leaving is inevitable. I think if anything it leads to a difficult conversation. It’s a real thing though, to shower too much with love. Though if I got a dollar every time my boyfriend told me loves me, I would live a life of luxury. Which is nice of him but yes it can be a bit much. I don’t want the words to lose meaning. I’m not words of affirmation so it’s an adjustment when his is.
Nah it’s whether you’re doing it to the right person
From experience OP, it depends on the person that you are with. Everyone has their own definition of love and affection just like you. Some people may not want to hold hands or do affectionate stuff, some may prefer to make out and be touchy/feely all the time.
A blanket statement over everyone is a huge generalization and it’s not a healthy outlook. You should learn to control these thoughts and act on it when the situation is appropriate. One or two well timed compliments are always better than 20-40 compliments all the time
I think like with most things, if you it too much it loses its impact, and will feel either disingenuous or smothering.
It ultimately boils down to frequency.
I think it’s true for men to women, but not women to men.
Personally I like being on the receiving end of devotion and obsession, but I have noticed that women don’t like it when men are clingy.
Are you showering them with love and affection in a healthy way? Do you take care of yourself too? Are you a doormat? A simp? Are you a “nice guy” who expects sexual attraction for your attentions?
This isn’t true.
This is just what people who think they showered they SO with love and affection but really was just being selfish and doing this for themselves to feel good.
There are plenty of healthy relationships where this isn’t the case and the feelings are reincorporated.
If your always touchy feely and won’t let her breath knock it off.
It’s only true if the person doesn’t know how to voice out and set boundaries, and would rather break up and not communicate that they’re being overwhelmed by you
It’s only true if the person has voiced out their boundaries and what’s too much, but the boundaries are being overstepped and disrespected enough where it leds to a breaking point ie breaking up
Basically, provide a safe space and emotional availability to give them room to set boundaries, and reassure them that you acknowledge and respect their boundaries of what’s too much
Example
You tell them that you love showering with affection, but if it ever gets overwhelming, you ask that they voice out boundaries of when it gets too much and then you can back off. Or you can check if they’re in the right mood or mental space to be receiving affection through their body language, and if it’s not obvious to you in the moment, you can ask them
No. I dont believe so but I’ve met people who do
Only if you’re showering an immature or inherently bad person. Anyone else would appreciate it.
With the right person, it won’t feel like too much.
My bf had been in an abusive relationship prior to our relationship and he says that my love and affectione makes him feel super secure and confident about himself. Don’t give up x
Dude, if she wants to leave you this wont be the catalyst. Stop overthinking and enjoy the moment.
Showering togheter brings YOU joy? Then ask her to do it. People like to see their partner happy, not all insecure and awkward even on intimate moments…thats what drives people away.
Dude, if she wants to leave you this wont be the catalyst. Stop overthinking and enjoy the moment.
Showering togheter brings YOU joy? Then ask her to do it. People like to see their partner happy, not all insecure and awkward even on intimate moments…thats what drives people away.
Dude, if she wants to leave you this wont be the catalyst. Stop overthinking and enjoy the moment.
Showering togheter brings YOU joy? Then ask her to do it. People like to see their partner happy, not all insecure and awkward even on intimate moments…thats what drives people away.
Dude, if she wants to leave you this wont be the catalyst. Stop overthinking and enjoy the moment.
Showering togheter brings YOU joy? Then ask her to do it. People like to see their partner happy, not all insecure and awkward even on intimate moments…thats what drives people away.
Dude, if she wants to leave you this wont be the catalyst. Stop overthinking and enjoy the moment.
Showering togheter brings YOU joy? Then ask her to do it. People like to see their partner happy, not all insecure and awkward even on intimate moments…thats what drives people away.