Hi guys, I’ve questions regarding friendship. So ya I feel quite overwhelmed recently due to friendship issue. There’s this one guy I don’t like in my class, as he often said something disrespectful towards me or made bad things up about me. I really don’t like how he always make things up and tells others about it, and said in a tone that made most of them believe it’s true, and it’s difficult for me to explain or clarify. And from what I heard, he did the same things to other friends closer to him as well behind their back, which further strengthen my thought that he’s not a good friend to hang out with. Plus, he always talks in a way to prove that he’s above others and wants to make others think he’s very capable. So, I try to avoid talking to him and set up the boundaries as it affects my emotions.
However, I’ve other friends in class who I consider as my good friends are also mutual friends with him. Since I don’t want to hang out with that guy anymore, so I’ll normally leave the group if he’s joining any conversation or outing. And recently I notice that after he realized I establish distance with him, he started to do the same thing as well (which is not wrong imo). But he’ll always try to make plans with our mutual friends ahead so I don’t have chance to hang out with them anymore since he is there. And I’m not sure why I notice our mutual friends also not talking to me much lately.. And I can feel the awkwardness between me and those mutual friends as I still need to see them everyday in classes, but we are not close anymore, and it’s only me being alone.
This semester is full of academic stress, and losing my friends in class definitely adds additional stress to me. I feel kinda alone. Even though deep down inside me, I know I’ve made a right decision to have the boundaries set up, but at the same time I’m losing other mutual friends as support. Finding new friends are hard since most of the people already have their own group of friends and it’s difficult for me to join in.
At one point, I started to think whether it’s my problems that good friends left me at the end. But my besties (we’ve known each other since high school) reassure me that I’m a very thoughtful and nice friends, so it’s not my fault. But I’ve not much close friends in college and I’m far away from my family, plus I believe most people have some kind of trust issues so it’s difficult for us to bond more. I tried joining some clubs before, but it’s difficult to join in since they all know each other for a long time. I cry a lot lately due to the rejections I face from those friends mentioned above, and I started doubting myself every now and then. It’s tough to force myself to think positively when I need to face them everyday in classes. My negative mind just can’t stop reminding myself that I’m friendless and I’m unable to find good friends again.
Just wondering if anyone has faced this issue before? And may I know how you deal with it?