Ok so, let me try to summarize as best I can. I a 40 ish male am happily married with a loving wife and three amazing kids. Even thou our life isn’t the richest of lives, we have everything we need and we are definitely happy in every way. Most of our issues revolve around other family members. I am also what I consider to be an attentive and supportive father to my wife and kids. I help around the house and kids and most of the house chores are done by a housemaid that I pay for. I also provide 80% of all the money in the household. Both my wife and I have a very healthy sex life. I am very much attracted to her and sometimes can’t get my hands of her. She is an amazing mother, wife, sister, daughter and all round person. I am a confident male, who is great in social settings (as long as they aren’t too many) and who manages, influences and inspires other people directly (as per other peoples words).
Well anyways, I also have a bit of a kink. I like, when my wife and kids aren’t around, to dress as a women, only lingerie and have at it with a dildo while watching transsexual porn and sniffing poppers.
So my concerns are, what does this mean? To be honest I really enjoy this. I never thought myself of as gay and the idea of being with another man as a man does not entice me at all, but dressing up in lingerie (playing the female role) and being with a man is something that I have never done, but which I have fantasied about. Mind you I also really love having sex with my wife! She is hot as hell and I love her! After my kinky acts, I always return to my regular life typically feeling somewhat ashamed of what I just did.
Now the issue. The other day, after my act, typically I am very careful and clean everything up impeccably, but this one time I left one pair of panties lying around in a visible place. My wife said and mentioned nothing. It was only when I went to bed, my wife had already done so earlier, that I noticed what I had forgotten. My thoughts at the time was that, maybe, just maybe, she hadn’t noticed, but today (the day after) my wife asked if I was an honest person with some relevance to the conversation but it just seemed off topic. When I said yes, and asked why, she just left it and never said another word.
In a way I kind of always wanted her to know about my kink. Lately even I was getting excited at the thought of her knowing, but after what happened, I don’t know what to think. I am not sure if she saw the panties or not and now I am concerned, if she did, that she might be thinking I have an affair or something, which I would never have! In a way I want to tell her but firstly I am not sure if she actually saw the panties and also am not sure how she will react.
Well am looking for opinions, firstly in regards to my own behavior and what I should think about myself and secondly what I should do in regards to my wife!
2 comments
*So my concerns are, what does this mean?*
It means you like doing those things, nothing more
*she might be thinking I have an affair*
I can certainly imagine that this is what she is thinking
1. Absolutely do not care or think one thing about what you do. It matters not one bit to me. If you like doing it, then that’s what matters
2. You had better tell your wife so she doesn’t think the worst
If I found panties left by my straight husband, my first guess would be he was fucking another woman, I would never guess he was wearing them himself and using a dildo and taking poppers and watching trans porn.