Men of Reddit: When does a man know he wants to date someone? (for example: first date or after a few dates, etc.)

24 comments

1. First few for me. Or after chatting for a while

2. Often first chat.

3. Good chemistry. Good conversations. Life feels better when they are around.

4. Pretty much right away. Now I might not act on it right away, but I know pretty much right away.

   When I was younger I ignored red flags though. These days deal breaker red flags tend to pop up pretty quick.

5. After the 2nd date.

6. [deleted]

7. I usually figure by date 3 if you don’t want to be exclusive, it’s time to move on

8. Could be he knows on first sight.

9. For me it’s before we start dating, while we’re getting to know eachother. The whole reason there’s a ‘first date’ to begin with is because we like eachother and want to give dating a shot.

10. I mean, I asked her out because I wanted to date her… it’s just a question of do I want to continue. And that’s just a date by date thing. Usually though after about 3 decent dates it’s probably going to for months or years. I don’t think that’s a unilateral decision on my part though. If things are going well and she seems into it… just keep going.

11. After date 1. I dont understand people who date multiple people regularly. Or those that date for months.

    Dating for months on end I find to be embarrassing for one reason or another.

12. If it’s someone I just met, I’ll know after the first or second date.

13. Generally, I’ll know within the first 15 minutes if I am going to be interested in continuing to date.

    It usually becomes fairly obvious if I feel a connection or compatibility with the person.

14. If you give man food and sex or full stomach and “empty balls” lol.

15. It’s another one of those everyone is different things.

    I knew I wanted to date someone after the first date. When I started talking to my wife I pretty much had a crush on her while we were texting before I even met her.

16. within about 20 minutes of talking for me.

17. First date men will know in 15 minutes or less whether they want to date this person. They might do a few more dates to confirm that suspicion.

18. Is there even a complicated answer to that?

    If you like, them you secure the commitment.

19. That depends. Having fun together (nice conversation, laughs, enjoying time) and the possibility of a good perspective together (commitment in the right level for the stage of the relationship, responsibility, your values are aligned enough, etc.), among other factors, are good indicators, in my opinion. But when do we know it? I think we just feel it.

20. Either at first glance or first laugh. Usually I’m with it until she does something to ruin it.

21. To date? At first sight.

    To me dating is the process of then discovering reasons why I shouldn’t be in a relationship with them.

    To be in a relationship? It depends. A few weeks I guess. Depends how often we talk/go on dates. I’m only interested in long term and won’t start a relationship with someone who I can’t see being a potential long term partner.

22. I’m an autistic demisexual so basically I look for attractiveness first. If they’re “cute enough” which is poorly defined because it’s so subjective but if they’re cute enough then I start to look for red and green flags. I weigh the pros and cons and if the cons are things I can live with then I’m interested. It’s really that simple.

    But I can’t figure out their personality for the pros and cons list without meeting them and having some sort of interactions with them. For example my friend has a hot sister. I knew she was hot but that wasn’t enough.

    It was after she did something that in my eyes made her wife material that I got interested in her. Hence the demisexuality if I understand the concept correctly.

    I was gonna ask her out too but plans for the weekend fell through. With my luck she’ll be taken before our next group gathering but such is life.

23. I’m not sure about online dating because I don’t do it. In real life, I always just know if I want to date someone.

24. my opinion you shouldnt even go on a first date if you dont think you want to