Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 3 years now and lived together for about 1. Ever since we got together I’ve told her I didn’t wanna spend my life in Arkansas and that I wanted to move eventually. Well the time has come and l’ve got a opportunity to live and work In Puerto Rico well she’s 100% against moving away from her family, I would understand if they were sick and didn’t have much longer but they aren’t..so l’m kinda stuck in a pickle and don’t really know what to do. I love to go places and explore and do crazy things and she’s just not the same way at all. She justs wants her family
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As someone who’s very family-oriented, I also wouldn’t move (that far) away from my family. It’s a matter that is very important to me even if it isn’t for others. And it’s just as valid as your want/need to get out and explore and discover!
You have to figure out together if this is a dealbreaker. It’s one of those situations no one is at fault. You’ve just reached an impass and if none of you is willing to compromise, you’re not compatible unfortunately
Okay?
What else can you do besides breaking up? This is one of those no-compromise situations.
I get this:
>Ever since we got together I’ve told her I didn’t wanna spend my life in Arkansas and that I wanted to move eventually.
But did she agree to that? Because you cannot announce something and expect your partner to follow through with it.
Even if she previously agreed… people are allowed to change their POVs.
There really is no other option than breaking up. You two have different wants for your future.
Don’t let her clip your wings.
You need to break up. Simple as that. You will always resent her for not letting you leave and she will always resent you for taking her away from her family. I’m in a 15 year relationship where my wife came to my home state and left her family. Trust me on this- she won’t get over it… ever…
If you don’t want to live where you do, and she doesn’t want to move away, you are fundamentally incompatible. I’m sorry OP.
You want to go, she wants to stay. There is no middle ground here, no compromise. You cannot rely on the idea that she may change her mind in the future and be willing to leave her family.
What you have to decide is if it is a deal breaker for you. If it is, your relationship is over and you should part ways as amicably as possible so you both can go find someone that want the same things you do.
Sounds like the relationship is over.
Time to break up.
I wouldn’t be up to move to another country for someone either.
Family is very important.
You will have to make a decision. I’m afraid the two of you may be found yourselves in a situation where you became incompatible.
You either break up or accept a long term relationship that won’t ever move into something different. I’d think that the third option of staying forever in the current location isn’t something you’d be willing to do.
Puerto Rico is amazing. It will definitely be hard to break up, but it sounds like you are pretty different, and it will affect your future together anyway. She wants to stay in the same place forever with her family. You want to travel and experience things and open your world. If you stay, you will resent it. It’s ok to choose a future for yourself and apart from her. Good luck.
You should absolutely move to Puerto Rico if that’s the right move for you.
She should absolutely not move if it isn’t.
It’s not unusual for couples at this age and stage of the relationship to reach these major crossroads and have to part ways. No one is bad or wrong or anything. Just different. It happens.
Go and live your dream.
Arkansas and Puerto Rico are so vastly different in every way! She may really want the same experience as you to not be missing family. But that’s not realistic.
There will be people as interested in seeing the world as you. She can find happiness in Arkansas.