How to make friends out of acquaintances

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1. I’d say that the best way to do it is to be consistent with building the relationship. If they reach out, you should respond when you can. If you find something that makes you think of them, text them a picture or a link and start a conversation. Bond over shared interests and actively make plans. When you’re together, be engaged and attentive. Be attentive to their boundaries, too. When I have a new person in my life or an acquaintance who’s preferences and patterns I’m not yet familiar with, I’ll always let them dictate the pace of the conversation so I can make them feel comfortable and also suss out the best way to approach them going forward. I’ve found that meeting people where they are, being flexible, being present, and being consistent goes a very long way when you’re cultivating a new relationship.

   That is what you’re doing, after all. You’re cultivating. Adult friendships usually don’t just happen, and it’s not just that our lives are much busier and we have many things vying for our attention. Adults have more life experience that informs their interactions with others, and (for those 25 and older) radically different brain structures that are capable of cognition that wasn’t possible when making friends was “easy.” Knowing this, it’s understandable why the relationships we form as adults are more complex and require much more work to cultivate and maintain. Active, conscious effort is required for this kind of thing.

   So go out there and cultivate your acquaintances. Demonstrate an interest in their lives, and make it clear you’d like to be part of them. Be consistent and respectful of boundaries. I’m sure your acquaintances will appreciate the effort and the company that follows it.