My husband is a software engineer, and had about 6 to 8 jobs in a span of two years and cannot keep an employer for more than a year. It has started affecting our marriage. He said that he is not feeling fulfilled at his job. He was recently hired at one of the high tech jobs in the country, and now he wanted to leave again after eight months. Our son is currently in therapy and need insurance to keep going. He said that he would get another job but I’m afraid we will be in the same predicament every year. I’m not afraid of us not affording things because he has always been a good provider, but I don’t know what to do. He says he needs my support, but I’ve been going through this for two years now and it seems like I’m in Groundhog Day, every 2 to 6 months. I told him that I am willing to compromise as long as he keeps the job for at least a year so that our son can have therapy and that he can put in his experience that he at least kept that job in high tech company for at least a year. After that year is over, our son can be qualified to go to school and get speech therapy without needing insurance. But again, he refused, and he wants to quit. Any advice?
5 comments
Sometimes you have to make a sacrifice and stay in a job you don’t like, because it’s necessary to support yourself and your family. As long as the job isn’t hazardous or causing undue stress that could harm his physical or mental health. Not feeling fulfilled is not an adequate reason.
He’s also going to reach a point where employers will pass him over because his job history shows he can’t keep a job. They aren’t going to want to go through the effort of hiring and training someone who won’t be there in 6 months.
I would encourage him to stick out the current job for at least a year. Or, he can quit IF he finds another job first. But no quitting, then looking for a job. Maybe he could find something more along the lines of temp positions, or consulting jobs. Then there will be more variety to the jobs. There’s also the possibility he just needs to find a different line of work. Whatever he chooses, he needs to give you a plan. What is he going to do, how are the finances going to work, how is your son going to get the care he needs, how is he going to provide long term stability.
He wants your support, but tell him you and your son need to be able to count on his support too. That might mean he’s just going to have to accept not feeling fulfilled for a while so that his son can get the needed care.
It’s fundamentally irresponsible to quit a job without another one lined up in your husband’s situation.
You didn’t say how old he was or how long he’s been working in that industry, but it’s pretty much impossible to gain any level of expertise until you’ve been working somewhere for at least two years, though real expertise tends to settle in around the 5 year mark.
Sometimes you have to work somewhere or for a period of time that you don’t love. I’m sure he can survive another year of this, even if it’s difficult.
But I would be absolutely 100% firm that he does not quit until he has a new job already lined up. That’s the hard line IMO.
Do you work ?
Does your state have an option for health care for kids? Because it may be better for the kid to have his own plan and it might be cheaper too.
Your husband might need to talk to a therapist.
He also needs to grow up. He has a kid now. Kid didn’t ask to be here. The kid has needs. Unless the workplace is totally toxic, he should be able to suck it up for a bit.
As for the kiddo, you might look into your state’s office or department of early childhood to see if they offer any supports that might need available to you.