Hi, I (26m) suffer from anxiety and depression which have led to a fear of actually having sex. I’ve never had sex but the thought of it sends shudders down my spine. Everything from being naked, being in front of a naked woman, performing, lack of experience, my age, expressing myself and dealing my my PE are all anxiety inducing thoughts on their own, a complete breakdown all together.
How does one try to overcome sex phobia and is it even worth trying given that I’m no closer to having sex then I’ve ever been? Sex therapists are too expensive for me especially as I don’t have any experience and possibly never will.
3 comments
Sex can be totally overwhelming! Its like the most intense situation between two humans. Its full of expections, needs and hidden signs. So its totally fine to fear this. I am an autist, I already fear to just talk with people xD Sex was like smalltalk with a random person, but 100 times worse! I had a headache from trying to notice all the hidden signs, emotions, expections and needs of the girl.
But I learned that is is much easier for me to write about it, so I mostly searched for partners to share thoughts. That could lead to a real life experiance, but I like to get to know a woman before I meet her, so we both know what the other likes and wants and fears. Talking a lot is the only cure to this. So my advice would be to find a partner to just talk about this, without the preasure to meet and actually have sex.
Get your depression and anxiety under control. It causes problems in more than just your sex life. (I suffer from both. You can control them and expand your range of functions!)
There are often mental health groups that offer low – no cost services. Check your county/state services. Even a free group therapy situation is shown to help.
Maybe you’re asexual. Read about it and consider it. You can be happy in life without sex!
First, working on your emotional health. Seek treatment if you are not already. Start exercising and go to a gym that you can afford even if it is Planet Fitness. Exercise is great for relieving stress and your general health. Easier said than done, but look for charity or social groups that interest you. Just practice meeting and talking with people. Sex is emotional and can be overwhelming. If you desire and do meet someone, let them know your struggles and you need to take small steps.