My spouse decided to leave the house and move to another city. He said we could still be friends, there was nothing wrong about me but he is the one who has problems, especially with “desire”. He also left all his hoarded belongings behind.
He had some mental and physical health problems like anxiety, depression, anger control, diabetes, NAFLD, etc. and I always tried to support him. He sometimes behaved distantly and was irritated & explained this was because of his poor health, work stress and Parkinson’s disease.
One month before he left, we were still making future plans. He went on a one month long trip to India with his male yoga student. (He is a meditation teacher and a guide for Buddhist spiritual travels to India who has problems with desire)
After coming back, he confessed that for the last 15 days he has been texting some woman whom he didn’t know much about, and she invited him to live with her. This is not like him, because he hated people who cheat and he even broke up with his friends who cheated.
I told him if he doesn’t love me as a spouse and is texting other women, I don’t want to be with him. When he went to meet her, she turned out to be a drug addict and a psychotic. He is not with her now, he said it was really frustrating to find out that she is a drug addict, and he didn’t want to date anyone from now on as he has already lost his sexual functions because of his poor health.
Then in 2 weeks he dated 4 other women. They did not continue their relationship with him. One of them told him if he has a sexual dysfunction, why would she have a relationship with him, she has enough amount of “girlfriends”.
Why would a grown up man, and not an ordinary one, a man who practices meditation and Tibetan Buddhism, make such a fool out of himself? Maybe he lost his mental abilities because of the drugs he has been taking for a long time to “regulate” his dopamine, serotonine, noradrenaline levels all at once.
**TL;DR; : I want to understand if my ex spouse’s irrational behaviours mean he lost his mental abilities
3 comments
It doesn’t sound like he went insane to me. This’ll sound reductive, but it sounds more like a classic mid life crisis
Pack up his belongings and let him know that he has a week to pick them up or you’ll be donating them to charity. It’s impossible to diagnose your husband without knowing him, if you’re truly concerned for his well being encourage him to see a doctor.
Mental health complications have no rule book. You’re trying to make sense of somebody that quite literally makes no sense. Leave the ex-spouse as an ex-spouse, and don’t fall down the rabbit hole of trying to determine the “why” and “how” of him.
As for his hoardings, set a hard deadline – if he wants to keep the stuff, it’s on his onus too move the stuff out. If he misses the deadline, tell him you’re donating it all to a shelter.