Why do we fall in love with people who don’t love us back yet don’t love those who love us?

32 comments

1. brain chemicals

2. Because I’m addicted to ideas- I idealize people and my life with them.

3. That’s called lacking common sense and being dumb and many people are infact, the same.

4. [deleted]

5. A lot of ppl punch above there weight.

6. The majority of people won’t like you back, so it’s just statistics.

7. It’s in our chemistry. Our chemical makeup dictates how attractive we are to others.

   You can change it, you know? Good sleep hygiene, optimal physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health will change your DNA and actually change your pheromones. Optimal health will make you universally attractive, but it takes serious effort and dedication.

   So get to work, brother. Good luck 🤞

8. Attachment issues

9. We foolishly believe we’re the chosen one. We’re special enough to change people’s hearts and minds, when the person’s mind we need to change is our own

10. People often want what they don’t or can’t have.

11. Understand what I’m about to say is a unfortunate and shallow aspect of humans that often give themselves too much credit for being a higher life form holier than thou to the lesser angels of our nature but out of our league is an achievement and being out of their league is means you didn’t achieve. We often don’t think much of ourselves so anyone who does must be worse than us. This type of thinking needs to be tossed if you want any chance of happiness but it’s hard.

12. I see women doing this far more than men and it has everything to do with women wanting men who are way out of the woman’s league. Women only want the best man available but the best man available, especially in the age of dating apps, has no interest in making a commitment to an average woman.

13. I’m dealing with a similar situation right now lol. I’ve had a huge crush on this girl I work with for a long time, but she doesn’t seem interested. Meanwhile I have a FWB I’ve been seeing who caught feelings, but I do t feel the same and we’re dealing with that.

14. I would never belong to a club that would have someone like me as a member – Groucho Marx (Also Alvy Singer in Annie Hall)

15. Sounds like lust, not love…

16. There’s no rule-book bud. It’s just how it shakes out.

17. Because we’re idiots.

18. Speak for yourself.

19. I’ve figured that I enjoy painful love and can’t relate or enjoy normal good love.my favorite treat is the emotionally unavailable and unstable

20. Because we’re doomed to live in grief and misery.

21. I gave the girl I wasn’t in love with a chance and learned a huge amount. We dated for a little over a year. Lost our virginities together. Learned what I was willing to put up with and not willing to put up with.

    I regret nothing except maybe the way I broke her heart.

22. Unresolved childhood issues

23. In the words of Michael Jackson: “tell them that it’s human nature.”

24. Because sometimes we create a perfect person in our head, and when someone sort of close to it comes along we put their face on it and end up infatuated with the version of them that’s in your mind

25. Because it’s random who we love. We all have our own tastes which determine who we are capable of falling in love with. We can only hope our feelings will be reciprocated.

26. Because I’m lithromantic

27. Can’t relate, not even the few girls I find unattractive want me

28. It’s a case of forbidden fruit . We are attracted to those who are perceived as unattainable.

29. Because we all desire to be desired. It’s fun to fall in love and to do the whole dance. Once that dance is over, we get in a rut and want to do it all again.

30. When you find someone that you love whom also reciprocates it, you’ll be glad it never worked out with those people.

31. I’ve experienced both sides of this and I hate it. It makes me feel lonely

32. That’s mostly a borderline trait dude