Firstly, I want to recognize that this viewpoint is probably very entitled. My only justification for it is that I hate waste.
I’ve asked a similar question of my friends before on a smaller scale, and the answer, of course, is to always politely accept the gift. But then what? Am I allowed to donate it or throw it away? Of course not. You’re supposed to eventually “follow-up” on the gift by mentioning how it’s brought you value. These politeness lessons as a kid weren’t lost on me, but everything underlying did.
I can’t even think of how to phrase this nicely: If I receive a gift (one that I never indicated interest in) as a surprise, I’m not interested in the gift, and the gift is not returnable, is there any recourse besides accepting the gesture and eating the guilt? I appreciate that I have friends that think of me, but I feel bad that I can’t use these gifts.
A specific example would be a card game I play with a friend. He’ll occasionally have store credit leftover from trading stuff in, and, instead of saving it for later use, he’ll pick me up a cool-looking promo version of a card or something. But it’ll be a card that’s not playable or one I wouldn’t ever use.
I can’t turn it down, because that’s insulting to my friend. I can’t dispose of it, because that’s rude to the gift-giver (and that would weigh on me).
I’m lost and don’t know what to do.
1 comment
>But then what? Am I allowed to donate it or throw it away? Of course not.
Wait, why? Of course you are. Once someone gives you a gift, it’s yours.
> You’re supposed to eventually “follow-up” on the gift by mentioning how it’s brought you value.
I mean, you’re supposed to say thank you? But I have never “followed up” on a gift, nor has anyone done that with a gift I’ve given them.
It’s nice to see someone using a gift you gave them, but it’s not required.
I really think you’re overthinking this. A gift is a gesture, not an obligation. You can let your friend know you won’t use the card, just say it politely.