I\[20M\] was having sex with my partner\[20F\], when I decided to play with her ass. She had physically pulled my hand to her butthole before, and I got the signal to play with it. I remembered this in bed during this encounter, and played with her ass before sticking a finger in. After a few minutes of this, she asked me to take the finger out, and we kept the encounter going. After we finished she said she was uncomfortable with me putting a finger up her butt, and asked me not to do it again. I feel like such a creep for doing that without asking or having her tell me, and doubly so that she didn’t like it. I’m glad she communicated this so I know not to do it again, but I can’t shake the feeling that I assaulted her or made her feel violated.
6 comments
I don’t think this amounts to an “assault”, and it sounds like you two had a fruitful conversation about it. But this is a good lesson to always ask for consent – if you want to try something in the future, just ask her. You can always discuss these things outside of bed if you don’t want to ruin the moment.
A lot of couples will do a short hand. Play with or around the outside. WAIT for an affirmative or negative. Proceed as indicated. You talked it out. Keep communication open. As you two explore sexuality these kinds of things will come up again.
you didnt assault her, dont worry. I’d only say it was assault if you put your finger in and she told you to take it out immediately and you didnt listen, but you didnt do anything like that.
she may have just decided she doesnt like that specifically and yall talked it out.
Don’t feel like a creep she did initiate it. Fairplay to her for trying it but she probably decided after trying that it wasn’t for her and that’s fine. You didn’t make her do anything
Talk it all out. Have a long discussion about what she’s into and what you’re into and what each other is willing to do. All her if she’d be bothered if you brought it up again in the future. The more you get involved and the longer you explore each other’s limits that things may eventually change.
I think it is always good to ask first when going into that body part, even if you normally do it, sometimes you don’t feel like playing there, maybe you need to go to the bathroom or something and someone inserts a finger without asking first. Don’t feel guilty, you thought shevwas comfortable with that, talk about it with her so there are no confusions bext time.