i accidentally became friends with someone because we’re both socially awkward. i stayed friends with her for a while because i knew she didn’t have any other friends. it was a really boring friendship bc we didn’t have any of the same interests and we would only complain to each other about school.
one day she called me her best friend and i felt so bad because i didn’t think of her as one. when i talked to her, it was usually to vent about my problems.
later on, she invited me to go to a kpop concert with her because her parents would only allow her to go if she went with a friend. she begged me to go with her, and i gave in even though i’m not into kpop. a couple weeks later she wanted to go to another concert, but again was only allowed to go if i went. i didn’t want to spend a lot of money again to do something i wouldn’t enjoy, and around this time i realized i was being a shitty friend and i didn’t want to hurt her further, so i ghosted her (i don’t know how to confront people).
and now, 5 months later, she randomly messaged me about queen elizabeth’s death??? which i’m really confused about. the only reason i can think of as to why she’s talking about that is because she died in september, which is around the time i ghosted my friend. and i don’t know what to do. should i play along or explain why i ghosted her?
(sorry this isn’t 100% related to social skills, i wasn’t sure where else to post this)
3 comments
i think it may be best to explain or at least talk about how youve felt- im not good at confrontation either, but i think if you were to go along its only carrying the situation further. although time has passed, i think talking about it would bring some relief to the both of you!
You didn’t want to hurt her further so you ghosted her?? Bro that’s even worse 😭😭. Having someone you consider a good friend suddenly disappear on you without any warning crushes a persons self-esteem so much.
I think at this point just be honest. It’ll save so much time and misunderstanding and it’ll be direct and to the point. And everything will be clarified
You should be upfront with how you feel. If this is someone that I do enjoy talking to, I just haven’t found a common interest to bond over (but I’m open to still find something): I would apologize for not responding and then say something like “I dont enjoy kpop and I didn’t want to discourage you. I should’ve let you known at the time. Do you want to [insert something you both may enjoy] next week?”
I think even if I don’t like talking to the person anymore, I would still apologize for ghosting. I would probably say something like “I think you’re a really nice person, it just doesn’t feel like we have common interests to bond over”.
I also struggle with letting people down. But you have to say how you feel so other people can know and decide how they feel. It’s also okay to just say no without much of an explanation. “No I’m not interested” is a complete explanation to any invitation.