As the title says, it’s come to my attention that I can sometimes come off as misogynistic due to the way I speak being very aggressive and matter-of-factly, and I want to fix that. What kind of things can I do to come off as nicer?
To be clear — I don’t believe I hold any misogynistic political views, including I believe abortion is a woman’s right, I believe in equality, and I believe that women are equally competent to men. The entire issue has arisen because the way I speak can come off as aggressive. I’ve asked if it’s due to my crass language, but what it seems to be moreso is me being very passionate when I speak. I’m not sure if it’s because of “mansplaining” because my female friend did say that I mansplain to other men too, it’s not a targeted gender expression.
This problem is exasperated when I’m drunk on occasion (once every two weeks or so, with friends) where I can come off a bit rude / dominating. I don’t want to be this way and I am looking to make a change.
In sum, any advice?
Edited to add: Some necessary information to include is that I’m considered to be very extroverted and confident by my friends and strangers.
1 comment
I totally know what you’re talking about.
It’s about tone of voice and certainty, first and foremost, when I encounter people like you. Stop and think before you speak, and soften your tone some. And add phrases that make it clear you don’t think your opinion is fact or gospel and make it seem like you’re open to the possibility that you’re wrong or are open to what others might say that differs, “I think,” “I believe,” “I’m not sure, but…,” “I could be wrong, but…,” “I can check to be sure, but…” and phrases like that.