Lately I’ve been focusing on socializing more. I’ve always been reserved because I always assumed people would react negatively to me trying to engage.
I’ve had some good results, mostly I can make people laugh somewhat often, I’m very sarcastic and kind of silly in a way that people seem to be responding, which is great!
But no matter what I do, beyond entertaining folks for a few minutes, I just can’t seem to vibe with anyone.
I can’t hold conversations for long because I feel like I have nothing interesting to say, so I usually just end it early with some awkward joke and laugh. But I’ve noticed people talking and often just talking about nothing! They seem to somehow make the most mundane subjects interesting and worth having a 30 min conversation over.
I’ve reflected over this many times, and looking back I’ve always had this difficulty, more so than anything else. And after thinking about it, it seems it’s just a lack of chemistry with people. I just don’t relate to anyone. I like stuff no one I know really does, people don’t get my references, my passions.
I don’t relate to people my age, my country has a huge party culture, and I don’t get partying, or drinking. I like calm and chill places to talk and laugh, no substance involved, which others seem to find boring.
Anyway, all of this really makes me feel like an alien, an outsider. As much as I’ve been working, and as much progress as I’ve made over the last years, I can’t help but always notice how different I feel from everyone, and this is really bumming me out. I feel I’m missing a lot of experiences in life because I don’t get along with most people beyond friendly acquaintances. I’ve never had a “group”, for instance. You know that group of friends who are inseparable and are always together? Yeah, never experienced that.
So, does anyone else knows the feeling? Would love some advices, but just listening to people who can relate would be really great as well.
4 comments
Yeah. I’m old af now, nearly 50… felt that alien way since a teenager. My SO who has known me since 2002 says I’m an alien. I’ve had numerous friends over the years call me everything from alien to watcher.
I just embrace it. I’m not disappointed to be different, especially when I juxtapose that with what folks like to call normal.
Maybe don’t sweat it so much, it doesn’t take a lot of mental gymnastics to realize it may actually be an unwitting compliment.
Tldr: embrace the strange, in today’s world consider it a compliment.
PAUSSSUUHHH. I relate so hard to what you said about people holding interesting convos about mundane, seemingly useless things.
My username would indicate I do not. Yet, even my status as a fellow human, i do understand your feelings. My only advice is to actually focus on your passions and seek out others who feel similarly. It may get lonely at times but eventually you either find your people or you learn more about yourself and gain comfort with just yourself.
Yes, me.
Feel free to DM me, anyone.