How much time do you and your SO spend together per week?
As in doing activities together, talking together, going out together, etc.
I’m in a complicated situation. I left the comforts and family and my pets in my first world country to come and live in a 3rd world country which I do not like and am not comfortable in, for the one purpose of being with my boyfriend. I’m here 6 months every year.
This is the 4th time I’m meeting him. The first three times I came, we were travelling together and he wasn’t able to work as much due to going on these long experiences with me. Now, the 4th time, we went traveling together for the 1st month of my 6 months (where he also did not work at all), but since then, for the last 4 months, has been working on overdrive, 8-12 hours per day, to catch up with the work lost from previous months together. Then at the end of the day, all he wants is to play video games with his friends for 2-3 hours, almost every night.
I have been depressed and starting arguments because I feel like he doesn’t want to spend time with me and only wants to play with his friends, and doesn’t spend enough time with me. Every day the only activity we do together other than eating is sit in bed watching tv for 1-2 hours before bed, except sex about every 3 days. not cuddling, not talking, just sitting and watching tv. Other than this, we used to go on walks every day, but in the past 2 months, we have only walked about once every 2 weeks. He rarely takes me out, on average once every 3-4 weeks, so at the same time I feel suffocated and like my time here is being wasted.
We have discussed this issue 3 times now, and he tried to cut the game time back a couple of times, but has since fallen back into playing almost every single day.
Am I expecting too much? I have a feeling that maybe I do expect more than what most couples have together, but at the same time, I’m making a lot of sacrifices to be here and I’m only with him for half of the year.
Tl;dr : bf spends 1-2 hours a day with me, and I don’t feel it’s enough. How much do regular couples spend together?
3 comments
He’s working, he’s got friends, he’s got stuff to do that isn’t you. So unless you’re living together, 2 hours a day is a lot. It’s not spent productively tho. I’m not entirely sure why you’re in a relationship if you aren’t each other’s respective best friend. Like, if all you do is have sex and watch tv, that’s kinda sad
It depends on the relationship? For me, I hardly see my husband during the week. Kids+opposite shifts/separate hobbies etc. Maybe 2 hours total between Mon-Fri. (We’ll maybe spend time together twice a week for about an hour each). We also usually plan something in the weekend with the kids and spend an one of afternoon together that way, but otherwise we do our own thing. Remember, the amou nt of time together in different relationships in order to feel close to one another is going to be different. It is also important to have friends outside the relationship for the both of you. How much time together will make both of you happy? Only the two of you can decide, not any of us.
I spend usually 3-4 hours a day (5-6 days a week) and I don’t live with him. We’re usually doing our own thing for at least part of that, but we do make dinner or an activity together where we’re only focused on each other’s company. I think that you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel respected, loved and cared for, and heard. If you’ve talked to him about how you feel (as a woman you are not being unreasonable in the slightest) and nothing seems to change, especially when you’re giving up half of your YEAR to completely sacrifice yourself to him, that may be something to evaluate if you’re not going to be comfortable long-term. I get the being tired thing and wanting to check out through video games, but you also have needs that should be met.