I don’t know if this is a right sub for this question.
This is something that has been bothering me from my teenage and it’s only recently I have got words together to describe my experience.
I have been consistently getting insulted/made fun of in social settings (group conversations, dinner out with friends, casual office chitchat) for around 17 years now and I have realized this only recently.
And this happens even before I start talking. Sometimes the conversation has absolutely nothing to do with me but gets directed to me somehow and I am made fun of.
Social settings also include beauty salons, doctor’s appointments, shopping. Like all these people have insulted me on my face when I was literally just standing there.
I don’t understand. It’s very hard to ask of I’m doing something wrong to strangers on internet. But still I’d go ahead and ask you guys – what it is that I might possibly be doing wrong to be on the receiving end?
I want to know if there are any specific characteristics – body language, dressing, facial expressions that can make someone easy target for bullying.
Should I start being rude to people? But I would suck at being rude. I never have witty replies either.
2 comments
Dont give the people that insult you the same treatment, instead the next time anyone insults you, you should ask them, why they did say them. They slowly realize that It wasnt very friendly of them.
From what you describe it’s most likely your vibe. Which starts coming through even before you speak. Basically it’s about the feeling in your heart, which becomes evident to people nonverbally.
So this isn’t about changing external characteristics. Because that doesn’t change the feeling in your heart, and people will see through that.
Whatever you’ve got going on: low self-esteem, fear, caution, uncertainty, disinterest, low energy, lack of confidence — all that stuff needs to be transformed into warmth, confidence and interest in other people.