How come it is hard for some men to say “I love you”? Or admit that they are in love?

40 comments

  1. Depends on the individual guy. Some men have been hurt in the past and it leaves them afraid of being hurt again. Some men dont believe in love. There are many potential answers to this question.

  2. Listen Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call “love” is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.

  4. Vulnerability means you’re vulnerable. What you’re making yourself vulnerable to is the great unknown. It’s a bit of ‘the devil you know’ type of situation.

  5. Imo.. it may be that men are very tactile creatures so showing love physically is in our nature as our way of expressing it. So saying it verbally is possibly just redundant if he’s actively showing it. So if your man is physically loving you, constantly providing and doing for you just assume it’s his way of saying “I love you” and be happy.

  6. For one, it’s not always real love and maybe part of him knows it. Infatuation is mistaken for love ALL THE TIME. Especially if you’re young. Like you don’t love someone after a couple months. That’s just New Relationship Energy.

  7. Vulnerability or the fact that it would become something *real*.

    I was on a date with a girl I had been seeing for a while. There was this moment in which everything seemed peaceful and that’s when I realized that I was starting to fall in love with her. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t do anything. It was scary. Things had just got more real. If something bad was to happen (things were to end), I knew it would hurt. If I were to tell her, it would make it even more real. It would become something that I could lose or have ripped away.

    In my situation, she blocked me out of nowhere the next day. I never told her that I was falling in love with her and thus, it didn’t hurt as much as it could have.

    Love is a precious, delicate, and vulnerable thing but it can be unspoken too. My actions and the way I treated her showed very clearly that I had deep feelings for her if you ask me. If you are asking in regard to a specific man, I suggest looking at his actions. Actions speak louder than words.

  8. My husband struggled with this and even after saying he loved me for thr first time, spent a week afterwards in embarrassment and refused to acknowledge it even happened

    As a child he didn’t have a mom and his dad never expressed love for him. He had only ever been in relationships with women prior to me and has always struggled with emotional vulnerability

    It’s just not something that comes easy to men 🤷🏻‍♂️

  9. I don’t say that much to my gf because I don’t think it is necessary and in general I don’t like saying it out loud. I don’t say this to my family and friends either, our family is raised this way that saying such things considered dorky, soft and lame. My friends don’t say such things because we just know we love each other as friends, but saying it out loud is also lame and zesty

  13. I tell everyone in my life I love you. My guy friends. My female friends. My family. It’s how I end conversations with people.

    I do this bcs I never heard it and rarely do so I know how powerful it is. Every person needs to be told they are loved.

    Strongly encourage you to tell everyone in your life you love them.

    You never know when it’s their time. I’ve been to too many funerals

  14. It puts you in a massively vulnerable position

    And we’ve all been hurt before

    Not to mention, a lot of women go cold when you tell them that

  15. Speaking personally, it’s a phrase I am afraid of so why bother saying it if I’m too busy being scared to actually mean it. It would take some warming up to. Although I have not dated, I do know myself enough to say that.

  16. Probably a lot of women fucked it up before you got there although I’m sure that can be a two way street

  20. Because shitty people love to jerk others around. So if you say that to the wrong person, chances are that it will be used against you.

  22. It shows a vulnerability and most men have had plenty of bad experiences around showing vulnerability around women.

  23. How can anyone accept love from someone or believe they can be loved when that individual can’t do it for themselves in the first place?

    It’s not a BAD thing. Just something which a lot people (not just men) need to address. Including myself.

  24. Don’t think it’s a general thing, but some guys have just had real bad experiences with admitting love for another.

    Saying that you love someone makes a unique kind of vunerable, and getting hurt by that leaves deep scars.

  26. It could stem from a fear of ridicule, which some (or most) men experience when they open up about feelings or emotions. It also sometimes leads to women (or other men) in their life viewing them lower if they open up about themselves. It isn’t true for all, and it isn’t always true for the people in their life changing their view either. However, it does happen, and it does prevent some people from wanting to freely express themselves.

  28. To put it mildly, my parents only really came into my life as an adult and started saying it to me then as if to make amends for their shitty parenting. Saying i love you to anyone is always foreign to me. So if you do hear it uttered from my mouth hole I probably mean it.

  29. i dont like to throw that word around on just any girl, cause it will lose meaning for me.

  30. Nobody can come up with a good working definition of “love,” so why would I blow smoke up a girl’s ass? Instead I tell the truth: “I like you, I enjoy your company, and I enjoy sex with you. I’m willing to be exclusive, and I hope this lasts.”

  32. Because it requires them to be emotionally vulnerable to someone, someone who, in that moment, has all the power to emotionally shatter them into a million pieces. So, if you don’t really know whether the person is gonna do that or not, or you’ve been burned in the past, it can be hard to open up and say it.

  34. I think what I do want to say on this is that the whole culture is just in the process of transitioning from the old one where it’s treated as unmanly to express men’s feelings. I do notice that in today’s society, men are really getting to express their feelings but some are still in the process.

  36. It’s hard for some men because they were brought up to be hard and not show emotions. My father and uncle called me names on so many occasions because I showed too much emotion. It sticks with you.

  37. 2 woman in my life that I have taken very seriously have hurt me tbf. So now I’m more reserved than before or closed off. I was dating a girl recently and she cut things off because I wasn’t vulnerable to her but we’ve only been dating for 2 months. I told her it’ll take some time for me to be able to open up because end of the day I don’t really know you yet etc.

    She left anyway. Kind of fucked up in my opinion because In those months she felt like the woman I was searching for all this time. Like it felt good idk I couldn’t describe it. Then blam flips the script and I still think about her everyday. Damnit I’m venting on Reddit.

    Time to hit the gym.

  38. I have had that problem why ?? I just all ways felt [uncomfitable.My](https://uncomfitable.My) wife same way. But we show it in way treat each other..Now that I old I have no more problem Because if I die tomorro I want be sure she knows how much I loved her and what she eant to me. My kids to.. If could go back in time I think I d be better ..Not sure why never could say it when younger..S

  40. Can’t speak for everyone, but it really comes from trauma. I honestly don’t think I would, could, or want to say that to another human being, in that way, for the rest of my life.

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