I met a girl from a dating app last Friday and she invited me out for some wine on a restaurant. We had a great time, talked a lot and she invited me back to her place for pizza and a movie. We watch the movie and then start touching each other, go back to her bedroom and have sex.
I leave the morning after before she’s awake and text her something like:
“had a great night, got a headache so went home and didn’t wanna wake you up”
She responds something like “yeah it’s okay”
Then we don’t really talk much for a few days but then she texts me today that she had a great time but didn’t feel the extra spark. Do you see any major error from my side here? If she wasn’t attracted she wouldn’t have invited me to her place and slept with me right?
35 comments
You left after sex. Most non romantic thing to do.
Lmao wait let me get this straight you just dipped the next morning didn’t even say good bye?
Edit sorry but that’s funny af. If you sleep with someone and then leave the next morning saying you had a headache the person will assume you used them for sex and are not interested in a relationship
It’s probably because her waking up to find you already gone made her feel used and turned off romantically towards you
When you leave after sex like that, without letting them know, people feel used like it was a one night stand.
I agree with the other comments, Op should have not just left without saying goodbye
I’m going to go with what the other people have said – you left after sex without telling her, that will most likely make a woman feel used. Saying you had a headache seems like an a excuse as well. I’m not saying it was, but it’s how it seems.
If you like being at your own place in the morning, that’s fine but set that expectation so she’s not surprised the next morning.
You had great time , sex and all. She did everything right and You! left before she woke up!! That’s why. Not cool. Cheap move. Not attacking you , truth.
Well, you left her the next morning after having sex without saying anything. I really don’t blame her for feeling that way, since she probably felt that you only used her for sex.
Edit: the fact that SHE also invited you out, treated you, and even invited you back to her place is something that’s RARE for women to do for men nowadays. I really don’t blame her for being upset, going out of her way doing all those things for you, only for you to leave the next day.
Edit 2: as somebody who’s never been on a date and has never had a girlfriend, to have a woman do ALL that for a date, let alone a first date, would be one of the best things to ever happen in my life. For somebody to invite me out, take me out, and even go as far as taking me back to her place, that’s not something I would ever take for granted from a woman. Women like that don’t appear all that often, especially in our society today, where men and women are divided more than ever. Even if I didn’t want to see this girl again, I would’ve at least had the courtesy to wait until she’s awake the next morning to leave.
Yeah you handled that all wrong. You should have communicated to her as you were leaving. She definitely would have appreciated that. I understand wanting to be in your own space. I am the same way, but I always let them know I am bout to head out or I don’t even stay the night. But I always communicate to them what is going on. I definitely get she felt used, and based on what you said I see why.
You sound very passive like she’s playing lead on everything. She invites you to have wine at a restaurant, she invites you to her home for pizza and a movie, then you say you don’t talk that much the next couple of days. Were you waiting for her to tell you how much she liked you for that too?
I seriously want to know this one thing. When you left her home before she woke up, how did you secure the door behind you since you don’t have a key? If you left her sleeping with an unlocked front door that’s really awful and shows you don’t care about her safety.
Next time roll over give her a kiss on the check a little note that said it was amazing and u would text her soon then maybe she wouldn’t feel like a cheap f… date 💪u can do better
Several possibilities.
Either she was only looking for a ons, wanted casual sex but realised that you were not compatible for a relationship, realised that there was no mutual attraction or got turned off by the fact that you left while she was sleeping.
There are plenty more single girls in the dating sea who are looking for a bf or some casual sex. Good luck!
Waking her up the next day and talk about things, tell her sweet things like her feedback on her impression and maybe kiss her more could’ve helped.. she would believe she’s cheap and doesn’t worth to get any gesture of affection and respect
You snuck out to avoid her while she was sleeping was probably the impression you left her with…and it ain’t a good one.
Did you show interest in her, after the day you left?
Probably not, so the feeling and attraction died for her.
If you really needed to leave you should’ve woke her up at the very least. Or just ask her for some headache pills.
Also it seems she was doing all of the work in the lead up to the date. I’ll be honest, very few girls will be able to maintain attraction to you if you can’t take charge at any point. She set up the date, took you back to hers, you waited for her to text… I usually see this happen in reverse. If you just wanted sex that’s fine but sounds like you wanted more out of this…
You pumped and dumped her, regardless of your reasons. Should have woke her up and been like, “Hey, I’m not feeling well, I’m going to take off. Let’s get together next week.”
As others mentions you ducked out with what seemed like a kinda lame excuse, on top of it you didn’t get back to her for a couple of days?
That’s badly managed even by my standards 🤷♂️
Rule number one.. don’t leave after sex .. most women find this bad.
Unless you want the girl to feel used . Now you know and don’t do it again.
Maybe write to her?
are you 18? you can’t possibly be this dense
I would never go to someone’s house especially after meeting them for the first time. Even though it’s tempting if you guys are hitting things off initially. Sex on the first date isn’t also the best idea either because some people are just looking for a one time hookup and nothing more. Sounds like this whole experience was rushed and something that could have occurred on maybe the 3rd or the 4th date.
Yeah dude you don’t leave after sex. Also, maybe she wasn’t feeling the sex was on par. It’s either one or both of those.
As someone who never sleeps over at my fwb house or anyone hook ups house and leaves right after we finish, I still kissed them goodbye and told them see you next time.
What you did was lame, and the message you sent was also lame.
Did you message her at all after… because if you didn’t then she probably thought you weren’t interested and met somebody else.
Next time take Advil, drink water, and make breakfast.
Maybe she thought you blew her off, so she wanted to blow you off. How did you text after she said it was ok that you left without saying bye? By not talk much for three days, did you text her much?
Not only did you just bounce after sex without saying goodbye, then you don’t make it a point to engage with her after doing so, like she is now expected to take the lead even after you made a major mistake. Could have been hope if you engaged with her well after your explanation text, but you made no effort it sounds like. Basically, you messed up.
Uhhh. Dont dip after sex. You made it look.like a ONS.
Next time, you stay the night, make breakfast and continue talking to her then leave.
She *was* attracted to you. Then you left without saying goodbye face-to-face.
just from reading OPs responses I can conclude he lacks social skills and empathy LMAO.
Come on, dude. If you’re interested, you don’t LEAVE before she wakes up. She definitely knows you used her
Like if you had a legit reason for leaving – including a legit headache – you should’ve reached out almost immediately.
Something as simple as
Hey, I had an amazing time with you last night and I’m sorry I had to leave so early. I didn’t expect things to click so amazingly so quickly and failed to mention that I had plans for this morning. I am really looking forward to making it up to you and am hoping you are free for brunch tomorrow? My treat 🙂 See you soon
You owe her an apology.
So you did a shitty thing, she reacted accordingly, and you’re wondering why?
Are you actually interested in getting to know her better or are you sad that you don’t have another chance to hook up?
If I were you and had been interested, I would have stayed longer.
This has got to be a troll, I refuse to believe anyone is this dense
You snuck out in the middle of the night and then didn’t really talk to her much for a few days after.
She felt used and unwanted after pursuing you pretty hard the entire time.