I’m way more open and social and probably more likeable. Does this get better with age and is there a way to achieve this without alcoholism?

29 comments
  1. Learn to stop judging other people harshly for what they say. Then learn to stop judging yourself harshly for what you say. Then you’ll feel less shame for what (you believe) are the “dumb” things you say or do when you’re sober, so you don’t need alcohol to achieve that state of confidence and shamelessness in how you interact with people.

    Alcohol is just a way to reduce how much you think about what other people think about you. If you let go of the idea that ANYONE should be judged for those things, it’s easier to stop judging yourself, and then you’ll feel as free to speak as when you’re intoxicated.

  2. They say drinking removes your filter, so just be more impulsive and think less

  3. Yeah it really does get better with age. As you get older you stop caring what everyone else thinks, because you learn more & more that nobody knows what the fuck they’re doing and everyone’s just winging it. You realise how many people your age and older still have the mentality of a high schooler. The less of a shit you give the more confidence you have and it becomes easier. Still easier with the wine though.

  4. Honestly I awarded the other guy Quaz because he pretty much perfectly answered your question. I’d consider that the closest you can get to your desired alcohol-induced level of socialism

  5. I read somewhere once that you become more like yourself when intoxicated. That’s why there’s happy drunks and angry drunks. We become our rawest undiluted versions of our core traits. Which is why there’s a huge lack of impulse control. When you take away inhibition, there is less stress for consequence from your actions and words. To answer your question, you will have to step outside your comfort zone to do it sober. Be more bold, and let yourself be yourself without fear of “stepping out of script”

  6. Yes it gets better with age, as long as you’re the type to naturally learn and grow throughout your life. The better you understand your own psychology (and from that the psychology of others) the less anxiety you will have, and from that the less fucks, and with that the more outgoing you will be, when you want to be outgoing.

    I don’t know if I’ve ever met someone more likable on alcohol. More chatty sure, but being quiet or reserved is not un-likable.

  7. “It doesnt have to be perfect”. This is my mantra to loosen up and remove the filter that you normally have. Why does it not have to be perfect? Because not everybody else is always perfect. You’re in a convo with 4 other people: theres always a sort of hierarchy of “best performing” and less performing people. You gotta realise that you dont have to be that best performing one, cause there can only be one. Its fine to hang in the middle and enjoy the conversation.

  8. Nothing wrong with a little buzz. As long as it’s done responsibly.

  9. That’s the fun part: you can’t.

    Learn to live with anxiety or you will die from it

  10. A side effect to alcohol consumption is a reduction of inhibition. In other words you become more extroverted. Is your inhibition a manifestation of depression/ anxiety?

  11. – Step 1: Do not use/abuse alcohol as a way to be you.
    – Step 2: See if you can incorporate social skills without alcohol.
    – Step 3: Be yourself.

  12. You may or may not be more like able after 3 glasses of wine. You may feel more relaxed with increased dopamine and less social anxiety and social inhibition, but as to whether that translates to more like able for every one around you, that is completely subject to them.
    Perhaps focusing on feeling more socially comfortable, or addressing social anxiety either through a dr or therapist for meds and/or therapy would be a better mind set shift. You have no control of others opinions of you, likes able is subjective to others, but you’re subjective feel of anxiety or extrovertedness is something you can work on.

  13. Better with age yes. But like 20 years and lots of practice. Better with meds too.

    For me, the best way to achieve this is to live flat broke in another country where you do t speak the language fluently.

  14. You have to reduce your social anxiety. Alcohol is like a “social anxiety removal” potion. If you reduce your social anxiety, you won’t even need alcohol to get you there.

  15. Not an answer to the question I’m so glad you posted this. I’m 21 about to be 22 but I have a few dates coming up with a few different girls and was literally thinking to myself I should get there one of the dates and drink a little so I can be more confident because alcohol eliminates the anxiety. Anyways thanks so much for the read.

  16. The big problem with me is that I lack any genuine desire to interact with other people when I’m sober , even with close friends , while when I’m drunk I love everyone and want to become best friends with whoever I talk. Any way to deal with that ?

  17. All the advice in this thread + Phenibut. Phenibut is a legal nootropic if you’re in the U.S. Drunk without the stupor or bad stuff, but you need to be careful about how much you take it. Do your own research, but it worked for me.

    It helped me become more social when I was not using because “I’ve already done it before”. Changed my life for the better, but I strictly kept my use to once a week and not a large dose.

  18. I’m struggling with this as well. Comes from social anxiety. I’ve been pushing myself to do more activities that I found out I liked even though I had never done them before and it’s only been a couple of weeks but I have some noticeable changes already.

    I kind of get a ”high” from doing these activities and it can last for the whole day, I’m way more talkative and think less about the things I’m saying and I’m just enjoying the moments more.

    Added bonus that you might meet new people and practice your social skills while doing these activities.

    Also, the top comment seems to be right on the nose as well, although it is something that you have to gradually work on.

  19. Just on a daily basis if possible, try to have as much small talks with lots of people around you that you won’t have contact with again and be 100% yourself and say always what crosses your mind, you will eventually become more relaxed with any human interaction, don’t know what you do and what’s your lifestyle but if that holds you back a lot, try some part time job that includes human interaction on regular and it will eventually sort out

  20. Therapy and generally seeking to grow as a person. The more you learn to accept yourself for who you are the more comfortable you will feel.

    It doesn’t necessarily get better with age. It does get better with purposeful effort to grow and figure out why you are having these issues in the first place.

  21. I found micro dosing Liberty cap mushrooms helpful for reducing social anxiety. Vyvanse and Escitalopram are decent too.

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