Hello,
I am in dire need of help/opinions. Before I begin, I’m a Mexican Computer Science senior who will be moving to the US in September for a full-time job. I have quite literally zero dating experience.
My last semester started 2 weeks ago. We have this class where we do a project with people from different majors and I ended up getting placed on a team with this girl I had never seen. It took a week for me to fall for her. She’s cute, funny, smart, genuine, etc, etc, the usual story.
The problem is that I’m having issues getting closer to her because she has a group of friends in this class. I do too, and it’s hard to break away from them so I can go be with her. The times when we can have some quality time is when we’re doing group work in class. She’s usually talking to one of her friends who is also in the team. But I feel like when I join their conversation, the dynamic we have is pretty good. Outside of group activities in class, I’m having issues getting close to her.
I need to become a part of her “actual” friends soon (not just be the guy whom she gets along with in class) because this class is ending in 2 weeks and once that happens, it’s over, I won’t have a reliable way to even see her anymore. If I manage this, I’ll have months to develop this relationship.
I also suspect that she might be into this other guy from the same class (don’t know if they just met or have known each other for a while) because he’s always looking for her during breaks and even in class. This person is way more handsome and confident than I am, definitely not his first rodeo. Honestly, when they’re together they’re always talking and laughing so much that it makes me so insecure to see this. I fear that she’s already fallen for him. The few times we’re both together (the potential bf and me), she’s always much more attentive to him and I’m having issues grabbing her attention as well.
I don’t know what I need to do to get closer to her. There are so many limitations I’ve imposed on myself (self-esteem, no dating experience, the other guy, me moving to the US later this year) that I don’t even know if anything is possible with her anymore.
I need different opinions and help 🙁
2 comments
Have you even offered her your number, setup a date, told her you’re interested in her? Why do you need to get into her social circle? Do you want to be her friend or get intimate with her?
Hope you do clear that doubt man. Had a similar situation in a class, I wasn’t even on a team with her and she asked me for my number to help her in the class through the university’s email! We’ve been good friends since then, we had zoom dates because of COVID but I never really asked her out until we both moved out of the city. Don’t let yourself have that question of what could’ve been unanswered if you don’t want to have that regret for a long time.