So my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 6 months now, sometimes its amazing, sometimes its awful, but often times she seems like such a hypocrite to me.
When she sends me a message, If i take longer than 5-10seconds to respond, she starts yelling at me asking why im not answering, or she ignores me for the next 10-30mins, even hours sometimes.
If i miss a call, i get ghosted for a few hours 100%.
But when I send a message, she doesn’t answer for 30mins-1hour most of the times, and never answers my calls. It doesn’t bother me but the fact that she doesn’t answer, i wait 30mins-1h, she still doesn’t answer, so i just start something, and then she decides to answer when im in the middle of something and then gets mad that I don’t respond right away.
Oh and I can’t forget her calls, so when she calls other people, she never answers me, and only after a few hours she finally answers and tells me she was in a call. Im like okay, she’s in a call she can’t answer thats normal. But whenever we are in a call together, she often tells me “shush, I’m answering messages don’t talk”, How come she answers messages when we are in a call together, but she can’t answer ME when she is in a call with someone else? The worst part is I see her online all the time, and she tells me she wasn’t online, it’s a bug on her phone, I’m sorry but whatsapp only says your online if you enter the app, so sometimes she uses the excuse “it says im online because i turned on the wifi, i didnt go on whatsapp”, well that doesn’t work, you need to be on whatsapp to be online, and then it still doesn’t make sense, she only calls people on instagram, why would she suddenly turn on and off her wifi if she was in a call? She lies, gaslights me, and gets mad when i confront her about being online, and then ignores me.
Theres many more examples, but I don’t want this to be too long, i just wanted to know if i’m correct in thinking she is a hypocrite? Oh and i’m thinking of breaking up, been thinking about it for a while now, so this would help a lot, thanks to anyone who decides to help!
TL;DR: My girlfriend tells me she hates some stuff i do, then does the exact same thing but much more worse, at least 10x worse, and gets mad when i confront her about it.
6 comments
Verbal abuse is a way bigger deal than hypocrisy, and should always be a reason to break up.
>When she sends me a message, If i take longer than 5-10seconds to respond, she starts yelling at me asking why im not answering, or she ignores me for the next 10-30mins, even hours sometimes.
If i miss a call, i get ghosted for a few hours 100%.
Forget hypocritic or not. Why accept that
So many red flags here. She seems extremely controlling and it’s only 6 my months in. I’d get out now if I was you.
What I’m hearing is that you’re growing increasingly resentful towards your girlfriend. On one hand it’s because she treats you poorly. On the other hand you’re upset at her for your own willingness to tolerate her poor behavior. You clearly have very poor boundaries, OP, and just breaking up with your gf alone isn’t going to miraculously make you adopt the skills it takes to set and maintain healthy boundaries.
So while yes it’s helpful to be able to identify how she’s treating you poorly, there is so much more insight and growth to be had from being able to identify your role in dysfunctional patterns of interaction between you two.
🚩🚩🚩she’s not only a hypocrite, she’s a manipulative, immature, emotionally abusive loon
🚩🚩🚩
Run away immediately. Why be with someone who you are letting them treat you this way? Put on your big boy pants and find someone else.