My (f20) fiancé (f21) and I are concerned about our sex life. We have an amazing emotional connection and always communicate well, especially regarding our needs. However, there was one thing I was keeping down for a couple months, and that was my need for more sex, as someone who is hyper-sexual. We typically have sex once every month or two. Sometimes once every three. It varies.
My partner agrees that she wishes she could indulge more, but doesn’t quite understand the problem because she find me sexually attractive and we can get there— but she has some overwhelming feelings she wishes to uncover. Any cheap books? I know about Come As You Are, but I was looking for other alternatives too.
3 comments
Your gonna have to pony up and seek professional help.
If you can’t do that, they likely aren’t in the phase of life where marriage is a smart choice
Her desires are often a direct result of her stress levels. Some women have no libido when life is stressful for them, like college. Btw – You literally can’t be hyper sexual and have sex every 8 weeks.
This will not get better when you are married and have kids, she will be less inclined to have sex. During pregnancy a lot of things can change, she may crave sex for a short time. Birth control can also wreak her libido. My spouse was only super aroused for one week after her period. That changed when she got off the pill. Now we have intense sessions on average 3 times per week.
I would suggest you schedule sessions once per week and then have a dialogue on what creates the most pleasure for her. You will need to learn how to please her, it sounds she has no clue. Regular orgasms help keep us less stressed, once she is experiencing that, your sessions might become more frequent. If not, you will never be happy and should consider moving on. Our sexuality is a gift, it makes life fun. I could not handle that part of me being repressed.
Becoming Cliterate by Laurie Mintz and Reclaiming Pleasure by Holly Richmond