Didn’t Call Back?
Okay, I have a situation. If you want to share advice I’d love it. I used to work at this place, during my last couple of weeks became close with a coworker.
She’s always working late, going in on the weekends, and self professes that she just goes home, doesn’t go out. She’s 36(?) I’m 29. She’s the only friend I have who calls on the phone regularly to chat about pretty much nothing. I’m much happier and more used to texting like with all my other friends. I’m also a very socially active busy person with a family.
One week I didn’t answer her phone call. She never calls for an emergency so I let it slide and didn’t call her back (I also had a lot of stuff happening in my personal life at the time). A week goes by and I get an aggressive text out of the blue “Hey, are you over talking to me?”. I didn’t like this at all. I told her that I didn’t know what she was talking about and she said she was mad I didn’t call her back and she was questioning our friendship.
Dude, I’m not dating this person, I told her to chill out (in a nicer way) and not to take it so seriously, I’m a low key friend and I don’t count days between calls/texts. I only answer my mother and my wife immediately without fail every time. Then I get a wall of silence from her. She has a habit of being confrontational, I’ve seen it at my old job. Idk she makes the friendship feel more like an obligation.
What do you all think? I don’t want to be on the hook like this in a friendship. Some weeks I’m more chatty and some I’m not. Also she seems kind of old to be playing games like this right? I get the feeling I might be her only friend or close to it. I don’t want to be friends with someone out of pity, and I don’t like this neediness. Tbh I don’t want to hang with her now. This experience was a friend turn off. I have g had an interaction like this since highschool.
TL;DR
I F29, she former coworker F(37)?. Friend of 4 months calls every week. I didn’t answer or call back for the first time, a week later I get a confrontational text about why I didn’t call her back. This feels needy and I hate it. I don’t want a friendship that feels like an obligation. Help.
1 comment
She’s only been your friend for 4 months! And it sounds like you are her only friend, which means she is a 37 yo woman that in her 37 years of age has not learned how to maintain friendships. This is a huge responsibility on your end to deal with, I would tell her, look, I have a busy life, I have a family which always takes priority, and many other social obligations, that sometimes take priority. My other friends understand this and our friendship is relaxed, if you cannot come to terms that sometimes life gets in the way, then we are incompatible as friends.
Honestly it sounds like she has feelings for you, otherwise she wouldn’t get so pissed you missed a week, but that’s just my two cents.