i’ve been a SW for almost two years now and have become quite comfortable with it.
i started seeing my bf about 2 months ago and he knows what i do and he’s been fine with it because he knows that’s how i pay all my bills and it’s basically my entire life at this point.
at first he was pretty wary about it and asked me to stop but he’s not in a position to support me financially so it didn’t make sense to stop so i didn’t.
but recently he’s become TOO comfortable with it and he’s starting to treat me more like he’s a client rather than my bf. also he’s been suffering from thrush and is using an anti fungal cream for it.
the other day, i came home late and was feeling super sick and he came to see me and i thought we could just chill and watch a movie but he only came over to fuck. i told him that i’m super tired and have a fever and he should probably leave because he might catch what i have but he insisted on me giving him head. i kept saying i didn’t want to and he said “act like i’m one of the men that pay you, and that you HAVE to suck it no matter what you feel”
so i said even if i wanted to, let’s wait till you heal right (because it looks so bad with smelly discharge) and he literally said “again, act like i’m paying you, you don’t have a choice”
and i was so shocked and hurt i told him i need some time and that he should leave. we had an argument and he said i would be a better gf if i wasn’t a slut…
not sure what to do rn idk if i over reacted or if he was being nasty
UPDATE: i called him to break up with him and at first he said “okay fuck it we don’t need to have sex. i’ll just find another way to pleasure myself” and i said it’s not because of that it’s because of the way he made me feel so his response was – “just because i wanted to have sex with you? wow you should be glad i even like you, knowing what you do for a living. you can leave me if you want but don’t come crying to me when no one else wants you”
😬😬 i don’t even know how i ever liked him he’s so obnoxious damn
32 comments
I feel very sad, just reading your story knowing that you have to go through this.
It’s pretty clear to me that the only solution is to break up, it doesn’t seem like there is any magic to fix that kind of attitude. I hope things start improving in some way in your life.
Anyone who refuses to listen to your “no” should be dumped immediately. This guy is a huge selfish asshole who doesn’t care about your basic health and safety. You should cut him out of your life.
I hope you leave him, that’s terrifying.
DTMFA. You don’t owe any person sex, ever.
Oh nooo ma’am. Red flags on the play 🚩. Everywhere. Dump his ass immediately. He doesn’t respect you or the word no apparently.
You were not being nasty. You did nothing wrong. He did.
This guy is not who you thought he was. He’s bad news. You need to unambiguously end it right now.
He is an abuser. You don’t deserve this. Dump him asap.
Dump him. Being pressured into sex like that is the biggest red flag possible. He’s straight-up disrespecting you and treating you like you’re not a person because you’re a sex worker. That’s not ok at all. He doesn’t respect you. That isn’t salvageable.
You did not overreact! There are so may red flags here, it’s not even funny. You don’t owe anyone sex. Ever. I know we are a bunch of strangers on the internet, but please believe us when we all say that you need to end the relationship now!
The man smells bad down there and has some freaking gross medical thing going on and you have a FEVER and you’re seriously here asking if YOU over reacted after he verbally assaulted you for not wanting sex? Telling you to do it no matter what is kinda like rape. He’s a dehumanizing POS And why are you still calling him your boyfriend? Ghost him. He doesn’t need closure or an explanation- he knows what he did.
He disrespected you on many levels.. put his little boy urges above your feelings. Drop him like yesterday’s trash pickup. You deserve more….
He was being nasty and had no respect for you. You need to cut this one loose.
When you’re working with a client, there is a different relationship. It’s a business dynamic with its own rules. You can turn down clients too I assume.
A significant other is supposed to live and support you. Not coerce you and belittle you. That’s abuse plain and simple. There is no fixing him. Leave him.
You already know the answer. Would you tolerate it from a client. This is just the first step of him getting you used to abuse.
ew dump him in the trash
You are entering deeper into the abusive phase of this relationship. He sees you as someone to control (telling you to quit) and someone to bully into sex… Your body and sexuality are things he believes he is owed and should control. He wants you to think you don’t have a choice with him. He wants you to think you’re obligated. If he can convince you of that, he will have groomed you into allowing him to rape you in the name of your relationship. Your boyfriend wants to rape you any time he feels like having sex and you don’t.
This man does not respect you. He cannot love you. Get rid of him.
Please dump him. He’s absolutely disgusting and the way he’s treating you is not appropriate. He’s shaming you for your work and then trying to shame you into sexual acts..
You owe that man *nothing*. He does not respect you or your job.
That’s so fucked up and disrespectful!
Please leave, you don’t deserve that!
I’m so sorry OP, it’s not fair on your at all to be treated like this.
I understand that you enjoy your work and it pays your bills, and that’s completely okay, and no judgement at all, but at the end of the day it’s still work, and you’re still allowed to have your boundaries regardless of what you do.
It rings so many alarm bells in my mind that he acted that way. I’ve dated a SW and would never expect her to continue work at home with me, all of our sexual interactions stemmed from genuine feelings for each other, not jealousy based on her work and what she was doing with others in her place of work.
It’s not on you to fix his feelings and make him comfortable.
you sound like a beautiful human being, and you’re entitled to live your life as you choose, and if you were in any other profession it would sound freaking unhinged for him to ask that of you (which it absolutely is) not to mention the fact that you’re unwell, he’s got a highly contagious fungal infection (gross) and you just didn’t want to.
‘No’ is a complete sentence, you should never have to explain why you don’t want to have sex with someone.
You have every right to say no whenever you want to and be respected in that, and being a SW has absolutely nothing to do with that.
Please be kind to yourself, you don’t deserve to be treated like shit from a man baby that can’t control his jealousy.
If you want to stay and you’re comfortable talking about it, there needs to be a hard conversation about this and his appalling behaviour (as long as you feel safe doing so)
What he did isn’t okay at all and is sexual harrassment/assault. I understand it not always fine for someone to say just leave him, but it’s been only two months. If he isn’t willing to seek therapy and make permanent changes to himself to ensure this sort of thing NEVER happens again then he isn’t worth it, and your priority needs to be keeping yourself safe and sane.
Please do everything to keep yourself safe and keep us updated on how it goes ❤️
I feel that he is using you more than loving you . Just leave him
Would you ever let a client talk to you like that? Why would you let someone who is actually supposed to care about you treat you like a sex slave? If he wants to be a client break it off and let him pay like a client. Leave him.
I’m a guy and I’m telling you, no one, man, or woman, has the right to treat you that way… For your sake and your safety, ditch that piece of trash and move on…
Dump him.
He’s literally horrible. He deserves nothing.
Also! If a client comes to you with some nasty, weeping, thrush infected dick, you are a million percent in your rights to tell them no. There is NEVER any ‘you have to’ if you’re getting paid or not. The fact this guy thinks ‘you have to’ is such a massive red flag.
At first I thought you’re a social worker.
SW don’t have to do anything they’re not okay with. You don’t either. Your health and safety is priority and if he can’t see that, he needs to be gotten rid if.
what’s an sw….sex wizard
Is he a chef? If so, he owes you dinner every night.
Any respectable worker would send him home with that thrush, so just do that and also bill him.
Here’s the thing- if you worked at Starbucks, you would already know that it is ridiculous for him to demand that you make him coffee whenever he wants on your off time. You would also already know that it’s ridiculous for him to ridicule your job and tell you to quit just because he doesn’t approve of it, because bills aren’t paid with hopes and dreams.
SW, while the lines are blurred slightly.. they’re not that blurry. He’s wrong for pressuring you, he’s wrong for treating you this way, and also- he’s just nasty. It’s time to cut and run love… Good luck
These types of guys have no shame, despite being the biggest, most repulsive pigs around. I wouldn’t want anyone near my junk if I had an infection or even if I just wasn’t fresh, and so to demand that someone put it in their mouth of all places makes this guy a 100% selfish fuckwad. To top it off, his comments clearly indicate he’s a vile and uncaring piece of shit as well, get rid of the prick.
Gonna sound stupid here but whats an SW?