I’ve been with my partner (M24/25) approx. 3 years.
Our spending habits don’t match. He’s always trying to have the most efficient tech gadgets, mostly bought out of impulse. They get replaced within months sometimes.
I can’t get my head around this spending style. I always save up to buy expensive items, gadgets or holidays. He buys them usually outright or on Klarna.
He’s been in his job post-graduation for approx. 1.5 years now and still lives at home. Whilst I know, I don’t get to say in how someone spends their money. I wished they saved for our future together. I’m just scared that I need to end up making compromises down the line regarding housing, wedding and general timeline choices because of not having enough saved up, whilst living at home with very little bills. I’ve spoken to him about it a few times but I think I bring it up so frequently that it no longer registers with him.
What do you advise? He wants to move out soon and I fear that savings will be off the table with all the bills he’d need to pay.
TDLR: Partner seems to live pay-check to pay-check and it makes me anxious.
4 comments
I think it’s okay to make smart decisions for your future even if all you have are strong suspicions. Might he turn everything around? Sure. Will he actually? He hasn’t shown that yet. It’s up to you to decide how much more time you give. Just like he’s responsible for his wallet, you’re responsible for the milestones in your life. How long can you wait to start living with a future spouse?
I’d recommend both living together (renting) and attempting some finance pooling before moving forward with the relationship.
You should really know whether someone is adult enough to prioritise their council tax and energy bills over toys before committing to spending the rest of your lives together.
It’s a lot easier and cheaper to close a joint bank account than it is to get a divorce.
Do you know what bills he has, what debt, what savings?
Someone like this needs to live on their own first before moving in with a partner. Actually everyone should try to do so. He needs to be able to swim by himself and it’s reaaally not clear he can do that, so I would also be wary about committing
Do NOT. Do not move in with this man or marry him. Financial incompatibility is an incompatibility. You will be in debt.
Maybe this relationship has run its course.