I’ve (25F) been with my husband (26M) for over 7 years. We have a pretty good sex life which means we do it at least once a week or once every other week depending on the situation. I always feel like I have a really slow sex drive which I’ve blamed on my birth control (since I didn’t really have this issue until after I started taking it at 16). He’s always super thoughtful and wants me to be comfortable but I know he wants to have sex more often but I’m never really into it, and I hear stories of people doing it more often than once a week which makes me insecure about if our sex life is healthy. Is there any advice that will help my libido, or is this normal amount of sex? Any advice would help, thank you!
3 comments
the term “normal” is different in any relationship what is “normal” for you might be once or twice a week but for someone it might be everyday it’s just up to the two of you to discuss this and see what would be an appropriate amount for the both of you
Are you familiar with the concept of “[responsive desire](https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a38269167/spontaneous-responsive-desire/)”?
The question here: if you two begin the process of becoming sexual through light touching or what not, do you get turned on then?
If so, then that means you two could add a night — and schedule it so it’s predictable for both of you — and then allow yourself to be eased into it (don’t push the pace until you feel turned on).
This requires patience and understanding by both of you but someone with responsive desire can have more frequent sex if it’s a matter of helping start up your sexual motor rather than expecting you to jump in bed, ready to go, with no prep.
What’s “normal” and healthy is what works for the two of you. If you polled the world, I suspect you’d get answers ranging from multiple times a day, to several times a year.
If you’d like to see whether hormonal birth control (I’m assuming you’re taking a birth control pill?) is depressing your sex drive, you could try a copper IUD or condoms instead?