My fiancé cheated on me, i found out and it is over now.
he brought me a lot of things throughout our relationship, including the engagement ring. now he wants everything he has ever given me back & wants me to send him money for the things he have paid for in the past because i won’t stay with him.
I don’t want to return the stuff, because i actually need some of it. & he wants the ring which i understand but.. idk i just don’t want to let go of it.
He is a bit unhinged so i’m not sure if he would do something if i decided to keep things & not return money for things he have paid for.
26 comments
He is the one who cheated. Not you. He broke trust, not you.
Keep what you have perceived yourself as yours for the time you spent together. They were given to you, no take backsies after he messes things up.
If you cheated Id support his side but in this situation def not.
You obviously don’t habe to because those were presents. (And on top of that, you’re backing out because *he cheated*!) However, if you fear for your safety, take precautions either way. Even if you decide to return stuff, if you fear he could get violent over material bs, make sure to be safe. Congrats on getting out!
You must return the engagement ring.
There is no reason to return any gifts that he gave you but if you would like to be rid of any of them feel free.
You will not be reimbursing him for previous expenditures.
Have a parent, sibling, or close friend return the ring. Call the non emergency number and ask the police to supervise and document the return.
The protects you and also sends this nitwit a clear message.
return the ring, for everything else, tell him to get it from the girl he cheated with.
Block him on everything, and if he shows up, call the police and get a restraining order.
Next step, you dodged a bullet, start living your best life
Don’t be that person. Of course you are returning the ring. No, you aren’t sending him money for things he paid for like dinner or tickets to an event. Yes, you return what he gave you.
He cheated on you. All of his stuff needs to go. Including the items you ‘need’. Buy replacements that aren’t tainted by him.
In some places you are required to return the engagement ring and in others you are not. I would return it because it is a symbol of his infidelity, but if you want to keep it, find out the law where you live.
Everything else was a gift and you have no obligation to return or repay anything. If he harasses you about any of it, call the police.
Return the ring. Trust me, you don’t want to have it.
Everything else that was a gift, anything he paid for in the relationship, does NOT NEED TO BE PAID BACK.
But if you want to be petty, you make a list of everything you paid for in the relationship, I mean everything! Even that happy meal you got for his immature ass.
Send it to him and tell him he has to pay you back too. If you’re gonna lose some money, then he can, too.
Return only the ring.
Give him the ring. It’s not worth it, and legally in many places the engagement ring is considered the purchaser’s property.
Everything else? Keep it. They were gifts. They are YOUR property.
And this nonsense about paying him back for things he paid for in the past? No, ABSOLUTELY NOT! This is manipulation, he’s just bitter because you’re dumping the asshole.
You owe him NOTHING. ….But give him the ring, mostly just to avoid legal drama. Then block him EVERYWHERE.
Keep records of any threatening messages of any kind, in case you need to contact the police in the future. And be cautious, guy sounds like a nightmare to deal with.
Dude take some time. Don’t rush getting your stuff back, unless you completely need it. Take some time to let the dust settle. I personally think you shouldn’t hold onto the ring and use it as leverage to get your stuff back eventually. Also, he is asking for money because he is butthurt right now but don’t given him false hope that you will give him money. That’s ridiculous.
I personally say return the ring, keep everything else
I’d give back the accessories just cause those are like small Reminders but the practical stuff would stay
Get a security camera
You likely need to return the engagement ring legally (depends on state), but you don’t have to return or pay for anything else you didn’t have a formalized agreement for. He is just continuing to be an ah.
Send him back the ring and block him on everything. If for some reason he takes you to court (extremely unlikely) get a lawyer, or if small claims, show up or defend yourself. Otherwise don’t communicate with him at all.
Tell him thats not how gifts work.
I suppose your gifts didn’t come with a paper of stipulations to keep them?
Give him the ring back and keep the rest.
Cheating has consequences!
Good luck!
Return the ring.
Gifts are gifts you don’t need to return those, and if he fusses over that concept, bill him for emotional distress.
When you return the ring, have witnesses to protect yourself.
Give him the engagement ring back.
Tell him to get fucked for everything else. 1. That’s not how gifts work. 2. Fuck him
If he attempts to intimidate you in any way, file a restraining order immediately.
Hand him back the ring and block. Gifts are gifts.
Screenshot where he things he has “given” you. Given means they are gifts and you are not required to return them. I would return the ring, that’s it. I wouldn’t block him, just don’t reply. Screenshot any threats and maybe see a lawyer about a cease and desist letter.
That’s not how gifts work. You can choose to send the ring back or not but I think that if you break it off you should send the ring back and if he broke it off you should keep the ring.
No. Traditionally the ring was a promise to be married. If he left, you get the ring.
Return the ring. Keep everything else. The items were gifts so you’re under no obligation to return them. Block him everywhere.
The relationship is over. Give the ring back. Give the stuff back. You say he’s a bit unhinged. The time is now to kick all the crazy to the curb. If it means giving some stuff back, so be it.
You have no legal obligation to return gifts in the US
Give the ring back, send marketplace links to the gifts he has given you and don’t pay him shit but ask him to cover your std checks.
As for the ring, you might be better off asking in r/legaladvice and there is a legal advice sub for different countries in case you are not in the US. You will get some better answers about the laws in your area. State your area when you write (the state where you live).
But the gifts should be your to keep, and you do not owe him any money or anything else. He cheated and you broke off the engagement. You have a right to do that. Secure your property and your residence from him, and keep yourself safe too. Best to you.
Nope, he doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on. Gifts are gifts not transactions. Get a restraining order.