I use self-checkouts so that I don’t have to talk to cashiers and answer the question “How are you?” Since two days ago, I’ve been brutally honest when answering this question. How so?
Two days ago, instead of lying in bed all day (which was the plan), I decided I was going to buy a case of beer and play video games. Gas station clerk asks how I am and I respond “Terrible.” She’s responds awkwardly that everyone feels that way once in a while. I say that I can’t find a job in this town. As I leave, another clerk says “Have a blessed day.”
That’s why I use self-checkouts and avoid cashiers.
But I also have been avoiding going to the gym for the same reason.
When getting off of a bus, are you supposed to wave and say “Thank you”? That’s what most people do. Lately I’ve just gotten off the bus without saying anything or looking at the bus driver, and it feels like I’m being rude.
Eh, all of this lends itself toward the autism diagnosis that I haven’t been given because I can’t get help for it.
But I’m also hesitant to talk to other people because of how my town is affected by the Seattle Freeze (how people are reserved and difficult to make friends with). Is it socially acceptable to strike up a conversation with people on the bus or at the bus stop? Because I only see a few people doing it, and whenever I seem to do it I get met with the awkward expression that I interpret as *”Why is this person I don’t know having a normal human interaction with me?”*
So as a 31-year old man, I still don’t know how to talk to people, and I’ve got an empty phonebook to prove it. What to do?
7 comments
I never understand when its socially acceptable to talk to people either. earlier today I was walking through the halls at school and some random guy started talking to me and it just felt so weird, which leads me to the question, When and where is it socially acceptable to talk to new people.
Start small by initiating conversations with people you feel comfortable around, such as family or close friends. Gradually increase the difficulty level of these conversations by initiating interactions with acquaintances or strangers. Additionally, try to focus on the other person and their interests, as this can help take the focus off yourself and reduce feelings of shyness or self-consciousness.
It’s also important to practice regularly. You can start by reaching out to new people in a way that feels comfortable to you, such as by joining communication platforms or attending social events related to your interests. The key is to find a way of communicating that you truly enjoy and find pleasurable.
Well, I’ve been living with an extrovert for a while, maybe you can find one and they may never run out of things to talk about. Lol
They might teach your how to just barge into conversations and say inappropriate things, which can be really funny, at times. I’m an expert at that. Lol
I can also illustrate how to start talking about your personal life with complete strangers. Sometimes it works, if you find other people who like to over share. And it’s even more fun if you complain about your girlfriend, and just make up some things. This is probably better to do when she’s not right next to you, but if you’re feeling brave it could possibly be more interesting.
If you find that a bit too awkward, you could start discussing conspiracy theories. Or maybe alien abductions. Especially if the aliens abducted you. Sometimes people will just nod and smile though.
In that case I would start talking about politics. You might have to just throw out some things until you start an argument. Or you could talk about books that should be banned, but just make them up, and see if anyone has a comment. Let me know which one is your favorite.
Are you overweight?
I do that a lot and honestly it’s better just to smile and nod so nobody thinks your being rude or just tell the bus driver to have a good day
It’s painful, but when people say “How are you?” , the only right answer is “fine”. You have to be pretty close to someone before you can share that you are depressed, and when you do, you have to limit that, or they will be exhausted by you and leave.
Yes, you can start a conversation, but proceed with caution. Some of those people on the bus have been harassed by strangers. Paying a compliment (not about appearance) or asking a question can be a way to start talking to someone. Know when to stop talking and listen when they talk. Good luck.
The Seattle freeze is definitely real and it extends to Portland. I was born and raised in Portland, so I kind of take it personal.
My reply isn’t really helpful except to help validate that it’s hard to make friends in the Seattle/Portland area.