**Disclaimer: If you aren’t LGBT, I apologize in advance. Straight people might not understand the terms I’m using. So I apologize in advance for any and all confusion.**
I’ve been contemplating having an escort for my first time topping.
I bottomed, and feel more like a top now.
The only problem is, I’m not fit, lost my virginity at 24.
I’m 5’2″, and have a somewhat hairy body with pubes.
I’m 26 now, and because I’m not drop dead gorgeous, people assume I’m a bottom (I’m not) and that I’m more of a nerd.
Those stereotypes have lost me a lot of great first time opportunities because of stereotypes about black men and me being short (I’m both black and short).
I’m basically a top and dom in a bottom/sub’s body.
A rock and a hard place.
I’ve been a fan of porn for 17 years now, and have recently thought, since I’m not the best looking that maybe I could lose my virginity in a one-night stand to an escort or a porn star.
And after the deed is done, I’ll simply move on.
But since losing my (regular) virginity at 24 was great, but the top’s attitude was horrible (he was abusive and an alcoholic with a short temper – and we argued a few times – long story short, don’t lose your virginity while your top is drunk and trying to provoke you after y’all have sex – and then tries to deflect by giving you more sex – DANGEROUS!), I decided that it may be great to plan out a “recreation” my first time – having the first time I always wanted, and never got to have.
My “other” first time was a disaster, so I figured, maybe planning my current first time out to be and look the way I want, might be a great idea.
Just like married couples who elope as their actual wedding, later renew their vows and have the wedding they always wanted – this “recreation” of my first time is, instead of a vow renewal, a “virginity renewal”.
And since I met the top I lost my virginity to on Grindr (and I live in the middle of nowhere, so we went to a motel in the closest major city), I think it would be smart to go to an escort or porn star this time – and have them be my bottom.
Who knows?
It might be great.
I’ve never done anything like this before, so the only thing I have is high expectations (especially since I’m a first time top).
1 comment
Bi person here. Your disclaimer is very off-putting. Don’t assume straight people don’t know terms like top, bottom, dom, sub, etc.
Also you’ve been addicted to porn since you are 9 years old. Who the hell was showing porn to a 9-year-old!?!? Maybe it’s time to lay off the porn for a while and seek therapy for the abnormal childhood you had