One of my friends keep constantly using me, she only talks to me when she’s either ignoring her boyfriend or they’re fighting. When she talks to me again she tells me how much she appreciates me, that she’s always there for me, that she’s always there to support me.
She vents and then we talk about our own things and sometimes I talk about my own issues then she says how much she appreciates me and will always be there for me. Then we hangout for a couple times then she disappears again like a ghost. and she’s always with her bf, I’m assuming they stopped fighting cuz they take pics together. I just don’t know how to feel anymore.
In short: My friend only texts me when her and her bf are fighting or ignoring each other. She always tells me she appreciates me then after that day, she disappears for days or weeks. Comes back when her relationship is not stable again. I feel used. Don’t know what to do.
Is it normal for people to keep disappearing?? Any advice?
5 comments
It depends on how close your relationship are
My advice for you focus on yourself
working on yourself brings good people around
Stop texting her or call her out,you may have to do both if she tries to put blame on you and refuses accountability. She’s using you to counter all the negative energy in her relationship but doesn’t actually break up or solve the problem. Its a lack of self respect and respect for you,keeping you in her pocket until things go bad and using you as a emotional punching bag.
Its my humble opinion that she will never change,I’ve been there done that. You will have to accept it for what it is and keep her at arms length like she does you or burn it down.
Don’t give too much weight to her words. She obviously does not mean it seriously. If you don’t let her words cause you to have expectations of her, then I think you might be ok with her texting you when she needs to and you text her when you feel like it.
She is a bad friend or keeping you on the hook. Either suck. Don’t give to people that take advantage of you
You’re not a fool. You recognize that your “friend” is a TAKER who uses you and sucks you dry for emotional support when she needs it. She offers you hollow words of support and gratitude in return. Question is~ what are you going to do about it? You could make yourself less available the next time she reaches out for your shoulder to cry on. Don’t be the one always initiating contact with her. Don’t be so quick to respond to her calls and texts. Treat yourself like a high end handbag……. the less access…. the more people want it. You know you’re a good friend. Don’t let anyone take advantage of your kindness. Protect your personal value. Good Luck.