I 20F dating a 21F from last 7-8 months. We started making out the second month of when we met but things never accelerated from there. We still make out (over the clothes) only.
I asked her she told me she’s shy and gets alert and shy when somebody touches her that she loses focus from the intimacy and just focuses on what the person is doing. I where as have a high libido and making out over the clothes is not my actual thing.
Any advice on how can I make things better?
10 comments
Have a heart to heart , maybe it’s time to part ways.. you both have to define what you want and go from there… or just get her drunk.. woooo what? Not even, sorry.. sometimes people have another side when lubricated..
I guarantee you there’s a whole lot more going on behind the scenes. Sounds like a project I’d be leaving for someone else to work on, especially this early on.
Is she taking any medications that could be the culprit? I assume it is not birth control. If both are negative, I would see if a small amount of alcohol would help.
Have a talk about if she feels ready to have sex or not. If shes not ready and you are, this probably is a deal breaker.
But dont pressure her about it. There could be a history of people already not respecting boundaries and that could be why she’s nervous?
Maybe turn the lights down very low and do massages with underwear on. Agree beforehand that if she wants more she must ask out loud.
You two may not be compatible friend. 8 months and no sex? The beginning of relationships are generally very passionate times.
Has she ever had sex before? And if having sex with you would be her first time then I can understand her moving at a pace she find to be comfortable with a new person. But this should be a conversation you two have and be consoling and considerate of the others perspective or beliefs.
Run away, life is short.
You can either respect her boundaries and move forward slowly if you really like this girl and want to foster a real relationship with her, or you can allow your libido to control your choices, break it off with this girl and move on to a more sexually active woman.
That’s really it, bud.
I can only speak from my own experience but if you’d both be comfortable you could start with her watching and touching you more. Without any expectations or pressure to go further. Her clothed. You less so. But in steps in a place you are both comfortable with.
I used to be very shy and uncomfortable and honestly jerking my partner off gave me the chance to explore sexually without me being naked and vulnerable which helped me relax.
It might also help for her to see you that vulnerable first. Also the visual could be a real turn on.