I never usually receive compliments outright, except for the one super defining feature that I have. But as I become closer with someone (romantically and/or platonically) they eventually reveal how they feel about me and say I’m “actually really pretty”. This is usually along with some other good trait that they mention.
This has happened more than a couple of times so I was wondering why this might be? Is this just a social convention we follow?
4 comments
I would need more context but whenever I’ve said this, it’s one of two reasons
1. I add the ‘actually’ for emphasis, meaning you’re just very pretty
2. The person in question sometimes thinks they’re not good looking, and by me saying ‘actually’ I am trying to offhandedly compliment them in spite of it
It is strange. Do you happen to be overweight or black? I’ve heard about people saying “you’re pretty for a black girl” which is super fucked up. Or implying that being overweight means you’re ugly and that you happen to be the exception because you’re pretty
might just be that they wanted to emphasize that it wasn’t an empty compliment and they genuinely mean it
There could be a few reasons why people are saying that. Maybe they feel like they need to give you a compliment because they’re getting closer and they want you to feel good, or there could be something about you that they appreciate that they can’t quite put into words. However, I think it’s important to remember that compliments are ultimately subjective and that you should appreciate yourself for who you are, regardless of what other people say about you.