We’ve been dating for 8 years and she’s only been able to cum if we use her vibrator or I touch her clit when we’re fucking. I always wanted her to cum just from me, but I did some reading and saw some women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, so I didn’t let it bother me.
We had our first threesome a week ago, I fucked her first, and then we switched around where he was fucking her doggy style while she gave me a blowjob. Like 10 seconds in she was cumming really hard. I was shocked because all he was doing was fucking her doggystyle and not even touching her clit. Later on I was eating her out while she gave him a blow job and then she asked him to make her cum again. He starting fucking her doggy style again, and after a couple minutes she came again. That part hurt my pride a little bit because she specifically asked him to make her cum, and I’ve also never made her cum twice during one session before.
I asked her later why she was able to orgasm with him like that and she couldn’t really explain why it happened, just that it felt like he was hitting the right spot.
I guess I feel jealous now because she had those two experiences with someone else and not me. I don’t want to bring it up to her because I don’t want her to feel bad, cause I don’t think she did anything wrong.
Can anyone explain why you would be able to have a vaginal orgasm with one person and not another?
27 comments
The totality of the scene was enough to push her over the edge. There could be a number of reasons, many of which are more mental. Or maybe just the shape of the other guys cock. Or even his height was different enough that it just hit differently. Maybe pick up a sex wedge and do some experiments hitting it differently.
If you play with fire, you are going to get burned. Did you not foresee it was possible that the excitement and novelty of a different cock might get her to orgasm? Are you upset your girlfriend got pleasure from the other guy?
Anybody who even suspects that they might feel jealousy in this type of situation should never even contemplate a threesome.
You will either need to get over it yourself or it could spell the end of your relationship … but don’t blame your girlfriend because she orgasmed with a new guy …
I’m not a therapist or an anatomical expert by anymeans and this might be a tough pill to swallow, but… maybe you’re just built different? Some might say it’s the excitement and mental aspect of the experience, but in 8 years you’ve not been able to do that? I think the other guy just hit the right spot. From my experiences, my wife had never had an orgasm from piv until me. There’s maybe like 2% of the time it doesn’t happen for her when we have sex. However, with my ex-wife, I could never get her to orgasm from piv. I’ve had other ex-gfs that I could get off from piv, and some I couldn’t as well. I think some people are just a better anatomical match than others.
Now that this has come to a head, you can either accept what happened and focus on what you have together, maybe talk to her about it in a way that isn’t mean or accusatory and find a way for you both learn how to improve your sex, or you can bottle it up and let the resentment build until it boils over and causes other issues. Either way what’s done is done and you can only move forward.
Probably just the hotness of the situation. More sensitive cause she’s in a taboo situation.
Some dicks hit different or are a different shape or angle. It just happens, it has nothing to do with you or lack of abilities, it is what it is.
Your feelings make sense but imagine if the scenario was like this:
You and your GF have a threesome with another woman and during that session, you’re able to have an orgasm that you typically don’t have with your GF.
And if your GF felt upset about that later, what would you tell her?
***
You should look at this through a different lens: the two of you are exploring sexual adventures together which, by definition, means experiencing *new* things. In this case, that new thing was another body, another penis. But the important thing here is that *you did this together*. This is an experience *both* of you are having.
It’s not that different from finding a toy that produces new sensations/pleasure for either of you. Would you be jealous of a dildo or vibrator or would she be jealous of a masturbation sleeve?
Now, obviously, I’m not saying “treat your third like a sex toy” (unless that’s what they’re into) but I’m saying “treat your threesome as a new adventure that’s fun for both of you.”
The fact that you’re both empowering one another to have these experiences is why people report that opening their relationship *strengthened* their bond. It’s about safety and trust. That’s what the two of you are exploring here too.
In other words, both of you are empowering the other person to enjoy sexual experiences that they wouldn’t get to do otherwise if you insisted on keeping the relationship closed. In that sense, you are directly responsible for this new experience she had even if it wasn’t your body doing it. But that third person wouldn’t have been there without your consent so again: you helped create the experience too.
I think approaching situations like this through that lens can help. Feelings of jealousy are totally natural when couples open their relationship. The ones who successfully navigate it *talk about things after*. They give their partners the ability to reassure them.
You shouldn’t avoid bringing this up. I could be wrong but folks in “the lifestyle” would never recommend keeping these kinds of negative feelings bottled up because if we don’t have the opportunity to talk about those feelings, they can ferment into something more toxic. Trust your GF’s ability to hear you out and reassure you.
On that note though: don’t get all hellbent in trying to “make her come through PIV alone”. That’s the wrong takeaway from this and it likely will only increase a level of stress and anxiety in your relationship. If you’re enjoying the sex you have, protect that from the effects of jealousy and competition.
The biggest sex organ is the brain. If she’s super turned on and into the situation – which is very common in a threesome… hello, why do a threesome? – then orgasms get easier.
My wife can orgasm just from another guy coming in her mouth. I’ve literally seen her squirt just from a guy coming in her mouth, with her not being touched at all.
Don’t take this as an offense to you. Understand that if she’s unlocked an orgasm this way, it may be easier in the future.
Now – it’s also possible that his angle is different than yours. My wife seldom comes from vaginal penetration only, but if she does, it’s me coming in at a more downward angle in doggy, or with her on her back, hips tilted up resting on my thighs, my back straight. In both cases, I’m hitting her g spot, which most positions don’t do.
My ability to orgasm is extremely mental to the point I can orgasm from performing oral on another girl, getting spanked, or any other number of very erotic situations. Threesomes and groups always dial up my excitement to high levels. It is hard but I wouldn’t take it personally and try to have compersion that she got a new experience and you were a part of it.
It could literally be anything.
Sitting down and communicating is important because if you have this reaction every time she has an orgasm that wasn’t by you = not healthy unless you’re willing to talk about it and work through it and not be bitter.
I’m a woman who barely ever has vaginal orgasms without clit stimulation. It’s happened to me a few times, and always in situations that were extremely sexually stimulating in new and exciting ways, including my first MMF. Women’s pleasure and orgasm has a hugely psychological component, and for a lot of women that’s particularly the case when it comes to penetration. I can masturbate with the same dildo one day and feel practically nothing, and then the next day be cumming like crazy, with the only difference being my mood or whether I find a fantasy that really does it for me. Her reaction may well have a lot more to do with the psychological aspects of this adventure that you two went on together, than it does with this man’s penis.
I mean if he is “hitting the right spot” it doesnt sound like it was the overall experience like all these other people are trying to explain away. Was there a major….difference between the two of you? People will tell you it doesnt matter and makes no difference but that kinda sounds like bullshit.
Anyone else getting tired of the non-monogamy posts?
It was mental, as others have said. I’ve had that (unexpected vaginal orgasm) happen in situations when I was hyper – like insanely- aroused.
I don’t think it says anything about you or her feelings for you. You’re not lacking, and he’s not better in any way.
Besides, you’re the amazing boyfriend who’s open to sharing that experience with her, which makes you an absolute prince. You might not have been the owner of the body part that flicked that switch, but you were instrumental in her heightened arousal. You were central to everything that was shared that day, and you get to enjoy the deeper connection with her that’s resulted. It’s all about the two of you and only the two of you.
>Later on I was eating her out while she gave him a blow job and then she asked him to make her cum again
Not gonna lie, hearing that would have hurt me. To be that direct and specific? Ouch, couldn’t she just have asked to swap positions again and left it at that.
As others mentioned, the newness and excitement of it all would have been the key “mover” in getting it all to happen but damn OP, that would have stung.
I get what people are saying about the situation being the main reason for her to be able to cum but.. I find it weird that she asked HIM to fuck her again? If it’s the situation that’s turning her on wouldn’t you fucking her while sucking him have the same effect?
Are you the same height as the other guy or is his dick bigger? What is the relationship between your gf and this guy?
One thing I’ve learnt in all these years browsing reddit is never have a threesome.
The situation of two guys could have mentally and physically stimulated her. Her excitement in the moment could have been a key contributor 🤍 there are certain angles that do allow us to reach climax without clit simulation. But I wouldn’t underestimate the ability of the mind. I have orgasmed multiple times in my sleep just from the naughty dreams my mind creates.
Dayuuuum, this would crush me haha. I don’t think I could ever have a threesome with my grl
I see many comments about mental space and being so horny for MFM, but they’re missing the point. You just saw her come in a way she didn’t with you in many years, despite your efforts. Ok, cool, she’s just really horny. But then when she wants to come again instead of asking you (while you’re already eating her out) she specifically asks the other guy to fuck her and make her cum. She didn’t even think of you as a possibility. Or she did, dismissed it and then said that shit out loud. That’s the part that is incredibly disrespectful and hurtful.
Just reverse the scenario, say it’s an FMF, the other girl just gave you a mind numbing orgasm while riding you like your girl never did to you. Now your girl is blowing you and you turn to the other one and say “ride me and make me cum again” and ignore your own girlfriend. I bet she’d be very jealous as well, and with reason.
I have had around 20 male partners and only two of them were able to make me cum only through penetration. There have been rare occasions where it has happend with other partners but only two where it was every time. (Interestingly they where both slightly smaller than average). I believe that genitals are like puzzle pieces and sometimes they just fit together perfectly and orgasams come easy. But saying that, that’s not all there is to a relationship. My husband isn’t one of the two and I honestly don’t care. We have great sex anyway.
A lot of people seem to be ignoring, with the true problem is, which is her specifically asking the other guy to make her cum again. That is extremely emasculating. Imagine if you were with another woman and you didn’t ask the other woman yeah could you please ride my dick you make me cum again. People will be all over you about how that’s just rude and disrespectful just like what she did.
Never let anyone else bang your girl!
Lmao another rousing threesome success!
Oof, you def need to address this because I have seen this situation play out many many times and 100% of the time it has lead to breakups.
Honestly it blows my mind how careless and inconsiderate people can be for their primary partners during threesomes. No matter how confident your partner may be, you should always be considerate of them and not put them in such vulnerable/damning positions.
I understand people saying that the situation was what made her cum, but that’s not the issue, the issue here is her directly asking that guy to make her cum again right in front of OP. I don’t care how confident you are, that’s a pretty damn emasculating position to be put in.
Bro I’m not going to give you copium like everyone else here…The first time she came from him just doing regular doggy could’ve been all mental/excitement of the situation…The second time however really shows the truth. She got tired of you eating her out that she literally told the other guy to take over and accomplish what you weren’t. She preferred him over anything you was bringing during this threesome. There’s something about him that’s different and better for her body than you. Either his dick is bigger and can get a spot that’s deeper, either it’s curved a certain way that it it’s that particular spot. Either he’s physically more attractive and fulfilled some internal desire (like if hes a hunk of a man and your dad bod.) Or her body is just bored of you after 8 years and he’s simply just not you that did it for her. Who knows but I’d want to get to the bottom of it rather than sitting here letting your jealousy simmer. You have every right to be jealous by the way don’t let people trick you into invalidating your feelings either.
Bring up the threesome to her, ask her what did she like about it, why did she like XYZ, what made her cum from him, what was going on in her head, don’t start out this conversation by accusing her you won’t get a answer and you’ll alienate her. Be calm and collected and have simple communication, talk about how it made you feel and be honest, if y’all can’t have this honest conversation and be open then it isn’t worth it to continue.
And this is one of many reasons I’ll never have a threesome.
Oh, looks like OP’s account is now deleted.