I’m 27M, and don’t wanna be a virgin anymore. I was hesitant because people say wait for someone special but I think I wanna start sleeping around/hooking up (and/or get into a relationship, but if the opportunity for sex comes up, wanna go for it even if not) and idk how I’d feel if I marry like the first person I have sex with. Feel like I need to get around first maybe since most people my age have already
A woman recently said she wanted to be FWB and I was hesitant at first, because of what people say about waiting for someone special, but then decided to go for it, before she ghosted me. All the special women I’ve been close to in the past are gone now. Idk. Thoughts?
7 comments
You waited this long, might as well wait for someone a little more important then a FWB.
Imo sleeping around doesn’t mean much and it’s better when you have a legit connection.
It is different for everyone, for me it just wasn’t something special. Sex isn’t magical the first time you have it, it can be but that’s more from the fact your sharing apart of yourself with someone for the first time.
Making sure sex is something you do with someone you care about can make it feel special when you do it. But it’s also hard to find out what you’re looking for in a sexual relationship without having tried stuff with people. There are some people I’m just not sexually compatible with and that’s the kind of thing I want to know before I marry because it is an important part of a relationship for me.
If you just want to lose it that’s fine but losing your virginity doesn’t change anything about you, you’ll still be the same person. You don’t need to sleep around if you don’t want to but you also can’t hope the first person you find will just miraculously be the perfect sexual partner. Experiment, be willing to push boundaries and step outside your comfort zone, because only then do you realize how big your world can actually be.
My first time was not special, nor was I looking for it to be. That has not prevented me from having many special sexual encounters later. What does it matter if your most special sexual memory is the first time, the twentieth time, or two hundredth time?
If you are interested in exploring sexuality with a variety of people, now’s a great time to do it.
I barely remember my first time. Definitely not magical. Usually more a matter of trying to figure out how the whole “giving someone pleasure” thing works. I’d jump at the FWB offer.
I will also mention, that sexual compatibility eg wanting the same sort of sex at the same sort of frequency is a really big deal, which many underestimate. Deciding on compatibility is substantially easier when you already know what you like and how often you like it.
For me it was okay and I was ecstatic that it wasn’t painful or bloody like people had scared me into believing. But it’s always only a starting point in a big journey
>Is the first time as big a deal as people make it out to be?
Utterly un-memorable for me.
All the sex that live in my brain rent free and I reminisce about is sex that’s _actually great_.
Inexperienced sex isn’t great. It’s boring and awkward.
No. Everyone made sex out to be the great life changing experience. It’s nice but not the be end all it was made out to be