I went to brunch yesterday primarily to visit my friend who bartends there. Anyway a larger group came than I had expected. Three of them I had just met for the first time that day. The other two were mutuals. Essentially, I only knew one person there really well and like I said my other friend was bartending. The moment I walked up one of the girls was talking about I guess seeing Kim Kardashian in person. I missed the first half of the story so I don’t know if she saw her walking out of store or on an elevator. I have no idea. But she basically was saying that she was really pretty in person and the girl could see why she was famous. That didn’t bother me I found the story interesting. Then what I can only guess was her friend a blonde woman who had to have been like 40. Much older than everyone in our group, started remarking on what people were wearing as they walked by, “I would never wear something like that during the day.” That’s literally all she did the entire day was point out people who she didn’t like how they were dressed and talk about them. Mind you she was wearing a tank top and jeans and I guess recently divorced ? Can’t imagine why…..Luckily the other two female mutuals were awesome. When I started talking about topics that were more about society, capitalism and mental health etc they were receptive and joined in. The other three girls just tuned us out and went on talking about Britney Spears. Are most women like this? I haven’t hung out with women in a long time. I keep to myself and hang out with a few men occasionally if they invite me somewhere. I know it came off rude but the Kardashian wannabe and the blonde shark lost my interest immediately. I got drunk very quickly so by then I didn’t care thank god. But I spend a good percentage of my free time reading. Are there any people who like to get drunk and discuss literature and society?
Once my male friend got off work we went to a different bar and he told me that the 40 year old divorcee asked ,” What’s up with her.” I run into this all the time. Women try to talk to men about me behind my back and the men always come to me and tell me right away. I don’t know why women do this, don’t they know that the men will most likely tell the woman ?
Now later this week I know I’m going to be seeing them at a music festival and a birthday party. Also the blonde actually said, “I wish I had sunglasses so I could stare at people and pick apart their outfits.” Like bish wahhh? Who says that out loud ? I literally don’t care what anyone else is wearing and when I do it’s because they look awesome and I want to get some of their style for myself. I literally hate that woman. I can’t stand to be around her and she actually tried to talk sh*t about me behind my back to my best guy friend of like 10+ years. She literally just met him a few weeks ago .
At the music festival should I say something to her ? I am already socially awkward and I don’t want to be mean to people but I feel something needs to be said. I rarely ever say anything to anyone because it’s not my place. But when I do say something it can be brutally honest and I don’t want to hurt her. I also don’t want to be around her. She is a friend of a friend so it’s not like I can not invite her. I just don’t like either of them. The other Kim K story girl is actually very pretty and nice but she literally said, “I want to have house parties so people can throw up in my pool.” I just feel like I’m watching Real housewives of brainwashed Americans and it’s exhausting to be around. Also, I can’t not go to the music festival. I took two days off work one of the days a birthday is being celebrated and I already invited two of my other friends to come before I met The Simple Life in person.
5 comments
You got along with most of the women you meet. So I would say you get along with other women better than you think. The blonde woman sounds like the type of person most people would not enjoy being around anyway.
Sounds like the blonde is extremely insecure and maybe being recently divorced hasn’t helped. Seeing as you just met her, try talking to her and find some common ground for the sake of your friend group. Although she seems pretty gross, I don’t think it’s fair to confront her until you know her better. Good luck.
The blonde is actually TOXIC. I don’t know if she’s always this way, or it’s situational coming from a bad divorce. The key here is to be POLITE but don’t try to engage her much.
Also this statement: “I rarely say anything to anyone because it’s not my place.”
If you look at life through that lens you won’t engage much! I make the opposite assumption, if we’re alive on the planet at this moment in history, we’re here to make our mark, to have a positive impact on ourselves, other people and everything around us.
Of course that’s easier to do if you feel socially confident and comfortable, not to mention your LIFE will be better if you can develop those things, so it’s worth shooting for!
I’d say let it go, ignore them and just have a good time with your friends. You’re there to have a good time, not get involved in their drama
Edit – I’m also a woman, I’m 26 and mostly I’ve gotten along with guys better particularly in social group settings. Theres a whole special flavour of toxic that’s women in groups. Not always but it’s a dynamic that happens and I prefer having 1 on 1 friendships with girls that I do share interests with. Yes, people do like to get drunk and discuss literature and society, keep looking :’)
I don’t think most women are like that. Mind you, I’m a 34 y.o. male but I’ve hung around enough women and people in my time to be able to confidently say that the group friendships that last are between similarly principled people that are decent at conveying their feelings and willing to take into account those of others, pretty basic stuff one would think. There are always those friends of friends that fundamentally don’t fit into the group for various reasons and the first step, once that becomes undeniable, should be to approach the group member that brought them in and ask them to take responsibility and stop inviting the offending party. There are, unquestionably, groups of women that spend their time badmouthing others or rambling about the most inconsequential stuff but if those types are the outliers in your group I think you’re good.