My bf makes me cum really easily which is obviously really nice but after I orgasm I can’t just keep going. I get really overstimulated to the point where I can’t have him inside me anymore and I will shake and jolt if he keeps going. I try to close my legs or push him away a bit but he doesn’t realize it can feel genuinely uncomfortable for me. He thinks it’s just me having an orgasm and it feels good when he does that. I want to tell him but I don’t want to make him feel like he is violating me or I’m uncomfortable with him, just that he needs to relax in those moments.
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Well you are uncomfortable, so you should tell him
Just tell him, it’s neither offensive nor a difficult thing to hear.
A sure way to make him feel like he violated you is to keep quiet about it and let him keep doing something you don’t like, only for the situation to later become explosive.
If you tell him to stop, he needs to stop.
Maybe blow him after you recover from your orgasm. Personally I would love that. That should give you enough time to desensitize and go for round two of you want.
I had a similar situation years ago. Our usual pattern was she’d blow me, I’d cum, she’d swallow which drives me crazy, I’d eat her out, she’d come, then we’d cuddle for a bit. Her lady parts would calm down a bit, and THEN we’d fuck.
This solved 2 problems.
1. I was 20 or so, so cumming with oral first made me able to last longer during PIV
2. She got a break
The downside was that we ALWAYS had sex like this. It got a little boring and the entire process took forever.
It will never do either of you any good if you’re silent about what makes you uncomfortable. It’s a good test of his character as well. A loving and respectful partner will happily change what they’re doing in order to help you feel more comfortable and happy during sex, and if he seems to have a problem with you voicing how you feel or with modifying his actions, then you’ve got bigger issues at hand.
For gods sake woman. Tell him to stop!
Everybody’s face palming at this post, wondering why don’t you tell him. And if you have told him, why wasn’t that mentioned?
Ask him if he himself a hypersensitive spot. The dick has a main sexually sensitive spot, on the bottom side. In addition, I had sexual sensitivity on the rim of my dick head, on the top side of the rim. When masturbating, when I rubbed both spots simultaneously, it felt much better. But whenever I touched the top side spot only, I couldn’t stand it, it was so sensitive. (Now that I’m older, the second spot has lost its sensitivity.)
Maybe there’s a task you can give him to do during and after the orgasm. When I cum, I like to press gently on my sensitive spot, and mostly hold that pressure, except that several times a minute, I let go for an instant. I’ll snatch the pressure away, or I’ll let it off slowly. You could maybe keep him inside, but holding still. Maybe there’s some spot, like on the outside of the vulva, that he could do the press and holddown on.
I recommend you say words to the effect of “I’ve tried pushing you off when I orgasm and that hasn’t worked. I need to let you know exactly, when I cum, do this, and don’t do that”.
I know it might be difficult to bring it up, but please, please let him know for the sake of your sex life AND relationship. Tell him that you need a break after your orgasm and he needs to ease off because it hurts. He should not be offended since it is not something he was aware of. If you keep going like this, you’ll build up resentment or frustration and it will make him feel like he’s hurting you, so let him know before it culminates into that.
I understand perfectly.
You need to set him off: tease his nipples, or scratch them, smack his butt, tell him he’s a bad boy, do more foreplay to him than he does to you so your timing matches up.
You should tell him?