How do I help her help me?

I’ve (21m) seen this girl (20f) a couple of times now in an kinda FWB situation, but I haven’t really “benefited” yet (Except for giving her pleasure, which I enjoy, and her pleasant company of course, so, all in all, I don’t mind)

I’m a very inexperienced guy, which I think is causing me ED in the moment. I get morning woods regularly, so there isn’t anything wrong with me, in that sense, but we haven’t had PIV yet, and she hasn’t made me orgasm either. we have been naked together 3 times now.

When we are getting down to business, she is VERY passive, but I feel like she has gotten a bit more active the last time we saw each other (small things, like slightly helping me get my clothes off, putting her legs around me when we are making out), and I think that’s a great sign. She’s told me in a round-a-bout way that she is inexperienced (but she does have experience with multiple people), so obviously she might be in her head or just doesn’t know what to do, but that’s alright. I always prioritise that she is comfortable with what is going on, and ask “Is x okay?” and if she likes what I’m doing, so I feel like I’m doing a good job on that front.

The action: We always start off with us just cuddling and watching a show on Netflix, I have my arm around her, I rub her arm, slowly start touching her leg/knee, and start rubbing her thighs slowly and after like 30 min or something I’m grappling her inner thigh pretty hard (While doing this, she does nothing, nada, the first time around it tripped me out so much, I had to ask multiple times if she was okay with me touching her, and she said it was completely fine, but it kinda got in my head, that she basically didn’t move at all), anyways I’m guessing she likes when I grab her inner thigh hard because she lets out small moans when I’m really grabbing them. After a while a just put my hand on the side of her face and start kissing her (Yep, I asked if she was okay with that beforehand), I get her up on me, we make out I take her clothes off (yep I asked), I tell her she looks beautiful and her breasts are fantastic, I take my own clothes off, I close my laptop, turn up the music, turn on red mood lights (we are both just topless at this point). When she laying down, I’m making out with her, kissing her neck, softly holding her breast, rubbing her thighs, teasing her nipples with my fingers, I kiss down her neck and onto her chest, where I begin teasing her nipples with my tongue, start sucking on her breast, I start sucking harder while licking them with my tongue (Yep, I asked, she likes it), when my mouth isn’t busy, I tell her how good she looks. I think (know) she’s insecure about her tits because last time I just said “You do know how fantastic your tits are, right?” and she just said “no”(I reassured her that they are lol)… They are small and perky with beautiful pink areolas, I don’t know if it’s the size or what, but it’s enough for a handful, and in my opinion, you don’t need more tit than that.

Anyways, I get her panties off (yep) and start kissing down her body, I stop right before I get to her pussy, and I exhale gently on her clitoris, I kiss around her thighs, I lightly grab her lips around her clitoris and squeeze it a bit (something I saw in a PH tutorial by some lady everybody loves apparently), I gently spread her lips and I give her a couple of deep slow licks, start from her opening all the way to the top of her pussy, after a while, I focus more on the clitoris with different patterns and a bit of suction once in a while. I tease her entrance with my finger and enter her, she’s always VERY wet. I start stimulating the sponge near the entrance in the roof of her vagina (g-spot.. hopefully), just behind some muscle, that apparently she can tighten so hard I almost can’t get my fingers out again, my free hand is playing with her tits/nips or holding her hand. I do this for a pretty long time before she stops me (by just sitting up), I don’t know how long, 20-50 min would be my guess.

I have done this 3 times, I don’t know if I have made her cum (I don’t want to ask, I do not want to pressure her to cum), she basically doesn’t make a sound, I just have to listen to her breathing to tell if she likes what I’m doing, she arches her back sometimes. When I’m playing with her tits I can feel her heart beating pretty hard sometimes. When she gets up and is sitting on the end of the bed, she just looks at me like a zombie and grabs my face and starts making out with me (ENTUSIAM I LIKE), I ask “Did you like that” and she always says “yes”. (She always leaves a puddle on my sheets, so I take that as a sign she likes it). The first time around at this point I wasn’t hard at all, no surprise to myself. It was late and she was sleeping over for “convenience” she had to be someplace nearby early, so I just got up and turned on the lights, so we didn’t have to bother with me not getting hard, and she hopefully could get 5 hours of sleep before an apparently pretty long day, we take turns on the toilet she goes first, and I jackoff when I’m in there (I get crippling blueballs).

Another time, the same situation making out after she is sitting on the bed, and she put one of her hands and the edge of my underwear (Which I still have on), I’m waiting and hoping for her to take them off, at this time I’m semi-hard, and there is no time constraint, we make out for a while and she doesn’t do it, so I do it. I straight up tell her I have a hard time getting hard and ask if she would mind sucking me off till I was, at which point she says that isn’t something she really does, because of 2 traumatic experiences where she was forced to do it, I tell her “it’s okay” like 4 times when she is explaining herself (she doesn’t need to explain herself), she ends it by saying its something she is gonna have to warm up to (or something along those lines) I tell her “that’s okay”, At this point, I still really want to fuck her, so I ask, “but you don’t mind touching it do you?”, she smiles and says “no” and grabs my penis, she started jerking me, It didn’t really feel good, it got really dry (She properly hasn’t done this that much before) and I grabbed it back and spat on it and started jerking it myself, in hopes of still get hard, (we are still making out at this point), in the end, I just give up and say “It doesn’t want to” and turn on the light, I tell her it has nothing to do with her and please not to take it personally, she says she won’t, very matter of factly. We go to the toilets again (I Jerk it) and go to bed cuddling and talking.

So my question to you all experienced people is, how can I help her help me? I really just want to get hard and have a good time, but I don’t know how to handle this situation (note: I stopped watching porn and jerking off regularly, when I first discovered I had this problem, but the problem persists). When she comes over we always talk a lot, but never really about sex, we are both shy about it I guess.

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(And I’m kinda sitting here wondering why I spend over an hour writing everything down when it properly wasn’t necessary, but hey, if you got any pointers or tips, feel free to let me know, any and all comments are appreciated)