How can I be less boring when texting a guy I like?

25 comments

1. Learn sports! Talk about cars! What do you know about guns? Sext your titties over!

   /s

2. Ask questions. Engage in his response. Answer questions fully and be expressive. In my experience if a person feels like you are being short they will feel like you arent interested

3. Give him compliments, ask questions. People love talking about themselves.

4. Just demonstrate interest in the stuff he likes, even if u don’t. He will love that u are trying to connect with him

5. You’re already overthinking it. You shouldn’t have to tailor a personality for this guy. Just be yourself and if he’s not interested in the actual you then it’s not going to work and best to let him go now. Not everyone that you like is going to be right for you and that’s okay.

6. Respond and ask questions to specific stuff that he talks about, like hobbies, music etc.

   Then when you pick up that he likes something, say ‘maybe you could show me sometime’

   You’re basically giving him a green light to ask you out

7. Are you shy/anxious or just introverted?

8. be yourself, if he doesnt like shy or quiet then tell him to go suck gossiping gabbys ass

9. Y’all need to find common interests like books, movies or hobbies and talk about those. Things develop naturally from there.

10. At your age a man shouldn’t be your primary focus. As you grow you’ll get the hang of it

11. Engage actively in your texting, never reply with either “yes”, “no” or “haha”. I mean, you can, but also add something after that, show you put some effort in what you wrote. Always try to end your messages with a question, bonus points if you ask him what he likes and you ask more details about his hobbies (example: he likes a sport you don’t know, you ask him the rules and how it works, why he likes it so much and similar questions, you can apply it on any other hobby or topic)

12. Just remember 18yo young men don’t know how word work at the best of times either. I find the best time for conversation is while doing something else; long walks, sitting around a fire, eating. Trying to maintain a meaningful conversation through texting is really hard, even for couples that have been together for years. If anything the texts get shorter and shorter; Where are you? Be home soon. Did you take the keys?

13. Depends on the way the conversation goes. A lot of time we enter interview mode: One side asks questions, one side answers. Its not interesting and neither side is satisfied. So learn to take and give control. Bounce a question back, but also learn how to pivot into a topic. Like if you answer something and it tangents a little. See if you can bounce that tangent into a new question and flip the interviewer role. And also learn how to flip to get the other person engaged and asking questions instead of just answering. If you can do that, you can get a back and forth going.

    But you might be in a situation where its not small talk getting to know someone, but instead a deep conversation. In that case you listen. How do you listen? You dont share your opinion. You dont empathize. Its not about you. They say something and you reflect it back: You paraphrase so that they understand youre on the same page; Not just the literal words but the feeling theyre conveying. If theyre venting about family and how theyre overbearing. “Yeah, that sounds frustrating. It sounds like theyre not really letting you make your own decisions” and then let them continue.

    Then after awhile if you do offer advice or a suggestion, theyre inclined to agree because you just spent 20 minutes agreeing with them.

14. Ask questions about things you’re genuinely curious about. Have opinions and express them. Basically, display your personality.

    Avoid one word texts like “hey” and “lol”. If you do that it just looks like you’re texting purely because you’re bored. It drives me fucking insane. At least have a purpose/reason to text.

15. Honestly I would say to try to talk to him in person. I find the flow of the conversation usually goes over better that way.

16. Be interested in what they have to say.

    People won’t remember you for what you say, but for how you made them feel.

17. Texting game is merely a method to set up the date after learning surface level stuff about the person. You learn if they like food or dessert or shit, try to have this lead into a date and set up the time and place, go meet up

18. How to converse: when asked a question give an answer that has material in it for them to ask another question, and so on and so forth. Also, ask things back while its your turn to talk so its not one sided.

    Him: what do you like to do for fun?
    You: i like to camp.

    WRONG.

    Him:what do you do for fun?
    You: right now its camping season like i like to go camping to a bunch of new places with some of my friends and our dogs. Do to ever like to camp, or do any outdoorsy stuff?

    CORRECT

19. A lot of people overthink how “boring” they are over text (myself included).

    By demonstrating legitimate interest and working to create a genuine back and forth you have already done 75% of the work needed, no matter what the topic is.

    From a guy’s perspective there are few things as annoying as being made to feel like you are a monkey that needs to dance for the gal’s attention.

    Ask open ended questions about his work/hobbies, share fun facts that you know, talk about your day, compliment him, etc.

    This may come off as cynical but as long as you actually try you are already beating out at least 33% of your potential “competition”.

    Edit: rule of thumb, never reply with a single word if you can avoid it. There is a good rule in standup comedy called “yes and” that basically means always be working to move the act forward. I think this is a good rule of thumb for conversation too, especially when first meeting someone.

20. Make an actual phone call.

21. Talk about shit you actually care about. If someone isn’t even interested in *listening* to your hobbies, it probably ain’t gonna work. If they *can*, then that gets you talking about something you’ll be ‘animated’ about.

22. You send memes and then ask about life.

23. Talk about your hobbies and stuff you enjoy doing. Ask questions. that kind of thing.

24. Honestly, I’ve never met a person, who thinks people can be boring that are not psychopaths. Usually only people say that who need an entertainer in their life.

    Just be interested in a person, like asking question.

    But, what people often don’t realize: using your phone should be done only to organize a meet-up in real life. It should not be used as a replacement for meetings or for getting to know someone. Too much can go wrong and nothing can replace a real meeting. So, don’t put too much energy into the texting thing.

25. Stop talking about yourself